I'm giving away a FREE Trial membership to any motherfucker who can actually make me laugh out loud.

You fucker... Made me laugh though you already have an account

Not eligible but

so this horse walks into a bar.

the bartender says why the long face?

Agent WHAT?
I even defended you in your earlier proxy post.



Thank you buddy...

One of those nights.

3AM PST.

Gotta call it at some point.

Last Edited by Travis Bickle on 03/23/2018 06:25 AM

welsh man taking his driving test..

Instructor: can you make a U-turn.

Welsh man: no, but i can make its eyes roll.

Jack russell and a labrador at the vets..

labrador: hey up jack what you in for?

Jack russell: i can't stop biting the postman.. my mistress is having me put to sleep.

labrador: ah man thats bad.

Jack russell: so what you in for?

labrador: well the other day i was chilling on the patio.. when i looked through the patio door.. i noticed my mistress naked on all fours exercising.. i noticed the door was ajar... so i burst in.. jumped on her and gave her a good rodgering

Jack russell: ah so you're being put to sleep too?

labrador: no.. i'm here to have my nails clipped

First and last day bahaha on the job as a road service tech ,I rolled a semi tire off the tailgate of the truck and it bounced twice and landed on top of and knocked out cold the guy below that was taking off the old tire.

Okay Bickle, I don't need the upgrade but I think I can make you laugh.

Story of instant karma.

Years back hubby was a complete asshole, pissed about something that had nothing to do with me, but all shit rolls downhill, needless to say it was business he was upset about but he transferred that anger into a household issue. So he screams and rants one evening and I go sleep in another room because I just don't want to hear it.

Next morning he wakes up all happy and chipper having completely forgotten the night before. My little chihuahua dog ended up having the diarrhea on the floor (wood floor) in our bedroom, I quickly grabbed a dirty towel laying in the side of tub to clean up, it was a lot of slimy stinky diarrhea. I wadded up the towel and placed it in the floor in the shower stall (so I can throw away, when I'm done getting ready for work) against the wall at the opening of the shower. Don't think anything of it and go about my business of getting ready for work. Hubby comes in jumps in shower (I'm still not talking to him), I can hear him showering because now I'm at my vanity putting on make-up. He finishes shower and steps out reaching down to grab a towel (hubby wears glasses, but no glasses right now), he grabs the only towel laying at the end of the shower stall. Yes, it was THAT towel. He grabs that wadded up towel, opens it up and shoves his whole face and head into it drying his face, then he screams this towel smells like "shit", I look over at him and see his whole face and head covered with the dogs diarreah (so gross), and I calmly tell him, "it is shit, I just used that towel to clean up after the dog". Now you know, inside I am roflmao, I couldn't hold back anymore, I started laughing so hard, almost wet my pants. Whole time he's screaming like a stuck pig because he's completely slimed. Needless to say he jumped back in shower. Later on after things calmed down I told him maybe next time he'd think twice about being so shitty to me. Lol, remember it like it was yesterday, sweet revenge.

Did you laugh?

Last Edited by MrsTomatoHead on 03/23/2018 09:14 AM

I don't want a membership but here's 3 jokes.

1. What do 9 out of ten people enjoy? Gang Rape.

2. What's the best thing about fucking twentynine year olds?

There's twenty of them.

3. Why did Hitler really commit suicide? He finally got his gas bill.

You are welcome!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...THR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES... DONALD J. TRUMP

two homosexuals walking down the street. they see a beautiful woman stroll by

one says to the other:

it's times like this I almost wish I were a lesbian

Google "fast forward blowjob" and watch the video that comes up lol

sounds like a turkey call

What do you call a scary person who likes to rip things?

A tear-er






2 blonds walking in the woods looking at some tracks in the dirt
First blond says, 'I recognize those. Those are dear tracks!'
Second blond refutes that and says, 'No these are bear tracks!'

they kept arguing til the train hit 'em



most wheels are always tired, so their world is always spinning

Last Edited by Layers of Reality on 03/23/2018 09:33 AM

[link to www.youtube.com (secure)]

ouch.!

My account is upgraded...but expires on 4-2-2018.
If I win, I'd appreciate the Trial upgrade! Thanks!

This is one caption from my recent thread to win a
free upgrade...One of those caption entries might make
you laugh, Travis! This is the link to the whole contest:
Thread: St. Patrick's Day "Caption this Picture Contest" to win 2 1-month Free Trial Memberships!

Here is one I made yesterday thinking about "Mr. Pug decides
to DELETE his Facebook account...and WHY!


"Mr. Pug had his 2nd Saint Patrick's Day
beer...and made the decision to DELETE his
Facebook account. He felt dread grip his heart
as he thought about those snapshots he sent to
2 of his FB friends...NOW the world would KNOW....


(Picture sent to ONLY 2 friends on Facebook--BUT now
that snapshot is in front of the WORLD thanks to Cambridge Analytica!)


"Yes, she told me she used "protection. Now I get
THIS f'ing pic in the mail...My new KID!"




O'sCookie

Last Edited by TheOracle'sCookie on 03/23/2018 10:40 AM

Evil, Dum azz dumocrap troll....

Worthless parasite...hey beez wun foe yoo:

Q: Who is just like us?
A: negroes


Hahahahaha, lolololol, keek keek keek keek

I don't want no fucking account but I'll make you laugh if you have a soul.

A priest and a rabbi are walking through a park together and they come across a little boy playing alone.

The priests sez "Hey, lets fuck him!"...The rabbi sez "Out of what?"

You are welcome xD

I need a Upgrade ... here goes ... Two guys were driving around Drinking after a couple hours the passenger said to the driver ( I think were getting closer to town ) the driver replied ( How can You tell ? ) the passenger replied ... ( Were hitting more people )...

[link to scontent.farn2-1.fna.fbcdn.net (secure)]

The Earth is flat.

this is sad. a 9 year old girl died today. she died from using a cream that reduces your age by 10 years.

humpty dumpty sat on a wall, humpty dumpty had a great fall, all the kings horses and all the kings men, had scrambled eggs for breakfast,

Did You pass-out O.P. ( I suspect ) Hope You are well ...ta ta ...

make me a sammich.

Did you ever notice the CNN logo is just a huge penis?

CNN spewing it's fake news filth across the nation

only the third one is funny
rape and pedophilia are not funny
_ _

old habits die hard: my Friend had a German plumber come over to look at and repair his shower
then complained that the plumber had "accidentally" hooked up the gas line to the hot water tap
_ _

Chicago is replacing all the German Shepherd police dogs with Coon Hounds
because they really haven't had any problems with Germans since 1945

Last Edited by Still-Here on 03/23/2018 12:48 PM