GLP - Continue The Story

After puffing a cigar, Mr. wordsmith sat by a fireplace and invited a guest Teenie Russian in and said deeply "let me tell you a story" as he threw on another log, sat in his chair and stared into the fire.
A man used to head up a project at plum island where they produced animal hybrids. One such hybrid was a human-chicken hybrid. It shut down the power, climbed the once electric fence, jumped over a baracade, sprinted through some shrub and miandered around across a street and then circled back and found a canoe. It hesitated before leaving and went back across the road and kidnapped a creature that could hardly even walk without tumbling. It was a mix between a goat and a Tasmanian devil. He again crossed the meandering path and then he took off in the canoe and paddled... which was all the more impressive considering he had chicken arms.
The canoe was just a mile away from land and surely he would have escaped if he had just a bit more time.
The leader of this project named Thomas Butt interrogated the human chicken afterwards.
He said, "Why on earth did you waste time grabbing Hillary (Hillary was the name we gave the Goat-Devil)"?
The human-chicken said, "well if I wanted food I figured it would make good bait... squak!" He continued, "And if I ran into predictors I figured I could distract them with Hillary and have enough time to get away while they tore her into peices.
Thomas Butt continued, Well why on earth did you waste time circling all the way the long way around and across? Human chicken, why did you cross the road"
"well it's simple.... To get to the other side"
Thomas Then later told this story to Trinity after having one too many drinks. On his way home he was hit with a frequency weapon that induced a heart attack.
Mr. Wordsmith glanced away from his trancelike look at the fire to look back at his guest.

How do you know all of this? Teenie Russian asked.
Mr Wordsmith fiercely said "because I was the guy who used the frequency weapon!!"
Teenie Russian casually made a margherita in the kitchen and then when it was safe and not too suscipisous, rushed into the hallway and into the bathroom and climbed out of the window got a taxi to the airport and asked for whatever ticket available. The attendant said we have one for France and one for Madrid, a decision was made and the plane left for Spain.

The moral of this story is that if you are Jamaican a drink in the kitchen and you're Russian in the hallway, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

And yet...... in 14 years, the dreams of the partakers have been thwarted by unknown assailants. A true gauntlet of abuse that has taken it's toll on the guardian of light. In valiant offensives wrought of pure determination he has decimated the enemy. Although the primary goal has always been for the common good one must wonder about The ActiVItieS That rOCK our world.

Wordsworth lept up from a deep sleep. "FUCK!!! How long was I out, is it go time yet??? And what the fuck was all that about tiny Russians and Jamaican chickens???"

He looked to the horizon and saw the torch on the hill was lit signaling he was supposed to engage the capacitors for Astro's scalar weapon.

"FUCK FUCK FUCK how long has that been lit???"

He threw the circuit breaker, wondering if it was already too late.

"FUCK... I'm out of ammo who's got a mag???" Chip screamed as he threw down his rifle and drew his sidearm.

"I'm out too, there's too many of them" Jazzy yelled back as she affixed her bayonet.

"What the fuck is taking Astro so long, he should have fried these fucks by now" Trinity muttered to himself as he slammed another magazine into his rifle.

The minions bodies piled so high in front of them, they could no longer see the tunnel. But still, for now at least, the Trinity and the Fandango Rangers were holding their ground.

Wordsworth stood in front of the circuit breaker, staring over the mess of wires that should have been humming with high voltage electricity to feed Astro's scalar weapon.

"SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!! Why won't you fucking work goddamn it!!!" he yelled as he kicked the mess of wires.

A voice crackled over the radio. "Wordsworth, what the fuck man the bunker is almost over-run engage the device!!!"

Wordsworth shouted into the radio "It didn't work, the calculations must have been wrong, I've got nothing here man!!!"

"Figure it out Words, this is our last chance!!!" Astro's voice crackled over the radio.

Then Yellowstone exploded and all was lost.The End.

Trinity dove behind a rock, loading his last magazine into his rifle. Before he could close the bolt, he looked down and saw a grenade at his feet. He jumped from the foxhole as it exploded, reducing his hearing to a high pitched whine.

He looked to Chip who was shouting at him, and though he couldn't make out the words it looked like he was saying "Fall back". He felt a hand grab at his vest and suddenly he was moving toward the bunker door.

Looking around he tried to stand, but he couldn't get to his feet. Tracers lit the room, seemingly coming from all directions at once. "So, this is how it ends..." he thought to himself as his valkyrie propped him up against a wall.

Jazzy pulled a pistol from an ankle holster and placed it in his hand. "Save one for yourself" she calmly stated as she turned back to the fray.

Or was it 'the end?!'

Zenobia stood up smiling, knowing that it was just a slight jump to the closest alternative timeline. And that there was a totally different feel to things. She knew that all was well at with her colleagues.

Only problem was there were a few folks who were suffering from high strangeness and fuckery w/ their memory (Mandela Effect).

As Wordsworth stared at the tangled mess of wires, unable to find the fault, another faint voice came over the radio barely intelligible through the static.

"Wordsworth, this is Zenobia, come in I can help!!!"

He dove for the mic. "Zen, what the fuck aren't you down in the tunnel how do you... how do you even know???"

"This is a different Zenobia, I'm from another timeline where Astro's weapon worked, listen to me and I can tell you how to fix it. But it will come at a cost."

The ghost voice continued over the radio. "Words, you're missing a single wire between the L6 capacitor and the A5 bus. There isn't any other conduit available, you're going to have to complete the circuit."

"Ah, what the fuck? What do you mean I'm gonna have to complete the circuit?" he shouted into the radio.

"Yo... onna ... to ... the circuit needs a... pathway of resist..." and then the radio went to static.

Wordsworth started at the A5 bus, knowing what had to be done.

Just as he was about to grab the terminals of the A5 bus and L6 capacitor, one of the Comedy Man's minions jumped out from around the corner. Tattooed across his forehead was "Pentagonal Triangle".

Wordsworth raised his rifle and let off a 3 round burst crumpling him into a heap at his feet.

Looking at the gap between A5 and L6 and the fallen minion, Wordsworth stroked his beard in contemplation...

Lady Jane plunged her knife into he head of yet another hapless moran. She thought to herself that she couldn't keep up this pace much longer.

"ASTRO ENGAGE THE DEVICE NOW!!!!" Chip screamed into his radio, just before realizing a bullet had blown off the lower half of it rendering it useless.

Once again on his feet, a wounded Trinity staggered back into the fight. Leveling Jazzy's revolver at a minion he squeezed off one last round. As the hammer fell, a blinding light filled the room.

Once everyone’s vision had returned from this blinding light...a figure before them stood...

EAT

As the light faded, EAT emerged from the shadows. The earth began to shake, and the A-1 sauce in the tunnel began to boil.

Suddenly, the tunnel collapsed and the saucey river beneath it flashed to vapor due to the energy flowing in from Astro's scalar weapon.

The worstershire fumes exploded from the tunnel, turning wave after wave of the Comedy Man's minions to dust. Even the giants were blown back to from where they had came.

In the background just behind the main crew lurked the anonymous posters - not knowing their time was almost at hand, they bent their crooked spines over their smouldering pots of baked beans, which they were cooking up to keep everyone's energy up ready for the trials ahead with the giants and aliens and A1 stuff and stuff.

"I am sure there were more beans than this in the ration supply", said Anna Non causing the group to look up and stare out towards the main group where Chip stood staring menacingly back - his chin covered in beans with a look on his face that said: you got something to say about the beans on my chin come here and say it to my beany chin face.

The anons looked away and went back to their stirring, then blurred out of shot as the smoke rose from their smouldering burning thistle fires.

Floor it!

Even after yellowstone the souls of those living in the illusion continued to believe it was all real.

After regrouping and a selective feast of beans, Trinity and the Fandango Rangers gazed out from the members only area at the wasteland that used to be the front page of GLP.

"Can we rebuilt it?" one of the Rangers asked clutching a casted arm.

"Sure we can, this has happened many times before. And it will happen again" Trinity said from behind thick bandage covering his left eye.

"But what of the Comedy man, Trin. We killed his minions, but he's still out there right???" another ranger chimed in.

Trinity stared at the makeshift memorial for those fallen in battle karma-pinned on the front page. "There will always be a Comedy Man, or someone like him. That's the price we pay to be who we are. All we can do is fight for this place that we call home"

they picked up a hitch-hiker....he started talking really LOUD....THEY ASKED HIM TO STOP...'IDIOTS'..HE SAID TO THEM...'I DONT USE EXCLAMS'...SO, DEAL WITH IT....HE KEPT TOUCHING HIS FACE......THEN, HE STARTED GOING OFF ABOUT OROVILLE AN STUFF...HAWAII TSUNAMI PREDICTIONS AND KITTEN FARTS...

THEY ALL LIKED HIM....IN THE END.

Having suitably admonished the anons with his death-glare, Chip flicked out a wiener with his tongue, that had got stuck between the toothy ruins of his craggy beany beardy mouth, then turned around and with a growl as loud as AJ right after a fb incident - maybe even louder and even more serious sounding - and, pulling out his massive bane hammer and swinging it round and round his head like Thor or other godlike figures of war, he roared....: YOU WILL NEVER NEVERRRRR NEVER TAKE MY BEANS AND A1 SAUCE YOU WILL NEVERRR NEVERRR YOU WILL NEVER WIN NEVERRR EVERRRR NEVERRRRR ARRRGGGHHHHHHH



At this the giants were struck with fear and dread - just like in a prophecy from an ancient time which had been carried down through the eons like whispers on an aching wind (which Chip was starting to personally feel the backlash of due to all those beans) - and the foaming roaring river of A1 slowed down and backed up a little and there were whispers and rumours and rumours of rumours and people said - is this Gog and Magog???


Then Chip let rip....

Suddenly over the mountains a hoard of zombies--- all of which were anonymous cowards (except for actual Michael Jackson rising from the dead and doing the thriller dance)---started to invade from just south of the border aided by MS 13.
Oh no, someone is going to have to rewrite this matrix of life really quickly before it is too late!

Last Edited by everyNameIsTaken on 08/10/2018 03:24 AM

the seven sisters (pleidians) decided to quickly help and cast a healing spell (because they're wizards and fairies and so) and the matrix was saved!

but then, annuaki reapers came back and ...

Meanwhile, Rockhard and Citizenperth were sitting out on the back verandah, having a coldy.

Plzxplain asked them if they were going to get off their arse and go and help. "nah mate, fu*k that, we're hungry, what's around to put on the barby?". "Nothin, mate", replied Plzxplain, "well, looks like we'll just have another coldy then", they said at the same time, can ya grab one while ya up mate?".
"Fu*k off", replied Plzxplain, "get ya own beer ya lazy fu*kin yobbo's".
"Geez, that's a bit slack", Rockhard commented to Citizenperth, "me missus always brought me a coldy, and cracked it open for me, Fu*k I miss her, sometimes".

Plzxplain left them to their drunken commissaries, walking inside, looking for some red ochre, couldnt find any, so went back out, and asked Rockhard and Citizenperth, where it was.

Neither knew, and Citizenperth commented "your as bad as me missus, mate, she wouldn't leave the house without facepaint on".
"It's so I can blend in with the bush, to catch a fuc*in roo, you drunkin morans".

Off Plzxplain went, barefoot, with her boomerang,and some black permanent marker painted on her face and body. (it's all she could find)

10 minutes later, she was back with a dead roo. Dragging it behind her by the tail, she yelled out to Rockhard and Citizenperth to come and grab it, throw it on the barby.

"Fuc*k off", they yelled back, "go fuc* yaself, ya useless fuc*ken drunken morans", she yelled back, and dragged the dead roo past them, inside, yelling at them "get ya own fuc*kin tucker mate, you ain't gettin any of my roo stew".

The last she saw of them, they were heading bush. Both had a shovel in their hands, apparently they were digging a rabbit hole, deeper and deeper . .

Meanwhile . . .

Meanwhile...

The giants leader Alsbesh, witnessing the very fast demise of several of his warriors, zoned in on the attack source, seeing a rag-tag group of the sub-human enemies as well as zombies on the horizon. He pounded his shield with his spear and they all rallied, hunching to face dual enemies. He pointed toward the road where sub-humans were running aimlessly and a group of five of his warriors took off to hunt and spear them all down.

Ten of his warriors headed up the hillside to eliminate the zombie hoard. If zombies bit any of the giants, it would be Game of Thrones season 5 or 6 all over again. He couldn't remember which one it was. It had been so long since he had squatted and watched the series through the window of a hapless sub-human.

He set his jaw firmly and sent a group of seven toward the rag-tag group of people.

Suddenly, Rose8 ran forward and put her hands out in a STOP gesture.

"You cannot continue forward! These ones are protected ones! If you spare them...I will assist you in your quest!" she said.

The group halted and one swooped in and grabbed her by the arm and led her away. How would she assist them, everyone in the group thought.

"Hey...didn't she say she was like some mythical figure back in 2016 and nobody listened to her?" someone said randomly.

"Yeah. I think she's going to get eaten."

"Nah, they have relationship problems too. She's golden!"

Rose8 shrugs off hands holding her hostage and yells, 'I want to make one call! I need MissCleo on speaker phone to back up my creds!'

Phone appears, Rose8 calls up MissCleo and tells her it is imperative to get Dr. Astro to figure out WTH is happening w/ time slips which was messing w/ everyone's heads.

And then punches speakerphone button so MissCleo can be heard saying, 'Yeah, she's all cool AND golden but not in the manner of speaking as to a tasty dinner. She's more like your golden opportunity to survive if you listen to her advice.'

Then there was Zoink. Not knowing what had happened, or too lazy to astral project into past timelines, he watches from a shadowed peak the ruminations of man. Binoculars in hand.

The giants confer with one another. One group retreats with their prisoner who believes she is saving her friends. The second group advances, breaking the trust. These are not ordinary humans...how could anyone have believed they would be honorable and keep their word.

In the distance, the hoard of slow-moving zombies tries to munch on the incredibly fast moving giants who are crushing reanimated corpses with gusto.

Suddenly, Trinity lets out a vicious curse that also sounds excited. He just discovered that....

... his lens cap was still on.

"No pics. Didn't happen!", he screamed with outstretched arms to the heavens.

He fumbled feverishly to unhinge the offending lens cap when suddenly from behind...