BRITS ABROAD... Teenage mutant MINJA turtle?

Sexual assault investigation launched after Spanish doctors find a TURTLE inside a British woman's vagina when she complained of stomach ache...

What in the holy fuck!!

She’s come out of her shell I reckon... Brits do that abroad..

The question remains: how ridiculously fat (and perpetually inebriated) was this beached whale to only notice a dead turtle up her blow-hole days afterwards?

she felt weird after hanging with british friends?

so she was basically roofied or something? and never wondered what happened?

She didn't know how? Not my kinda girl it seems. Its not like it just crawled in when she was asleep. What kinda lifestyle was she living where that could happen? Drunken, drug filled, sex with anything and anyone.

*looks at thread title again*
you motherfucker

*looks at thread title again*
you motherfucker

What a great metaphor that describes British perfectly


British men get shell shock, sooooooo they hide in pussies

WOW. How would she not feel something up there. And it must have smelled pretty bad too.

LMBO!!! Hold on! The medical center was called "EL Mojon"???

Do you know what Mojon means in Spanish???

A huge turd!!!

I literally can't right now lol

Is this thing real
Cause now it sounds like it's full of well...you know lmbo

Yeah something fishy going on here...

A picture of the offending turtle has been floating around

here it is

[link to i.imgur.com (secure)]

where was it in BENIDORM ,

no, it was tenerife.