Choose your chaos

You can imagine jumping with me, some crazy guy from who-knows-where who might be a troll in his mom's basement on planet HooHoo.

My former driver (and good friend) jumped off of a bridge a few years ago when his new wife wanted a divorce.

The problem is, she wanted full custody their baby daughter, too.

We saw each other every day and sometimes I could tell from his eyes in the mirror that he was somewhere else, worried about the teenaged daughter he had already from his first wife. This was before his second wife.

He wanted to see his daughter so badly, and spend time with her. But custody laws lean towards mothers. After a few years he met someone new, and within a few years they were married.

I knew she wasn't good for him. She was best friends with one of the most famous actresses in the world and was quite shallow. Her 'Hollywood lifestyle' really messed up her thinking. She was, I think, only interested in the way he looked.

They had a baby and were happy, for a while. Then I moved overseas and his new job wasn't enough to satisfy her. So she asked for a divorce, and he jumped off of a bridge.

He was quite a big man, with the biggest smile you've ever seen. He had a heart of gold. But when love and chaos meet chaos can win the first battle, with its flailing tentacles and menacing growl. Then we lose hope, not knowing that love all ways wins with chaos within.

Our happiness is not in what we want, I think, but in what we have all ready. We have only to discover the happiness that is patiently waiting for us. It is patient regardless of whether or not we want to see.

Perhaps he could have thought, during those trying times with his first wife, "Maybe it's not so bad. Maybe we don't get along sometimes for problems not really related to each other."

Some people can make you feel like jumping off of a bridge.

And for some, we actually do it.