Anyone know anything about handwashing?

No, I'm pretty sure I know how to wash my hands. What I'm wanting to know, does anyone have any advice on how to deal with people who have the handwashing disease? Who have the handwashing disease and would so very much like to pass it along to you?

I've fairly recently come into contact with two people who are disturbed this way. No, not physical contact. Ugh! As a rule, I try to avoid washing my hands more than a couple times per hour. This cavalier attitude of mine horrifies them. So when I'm instructed that my germy hands need to be washed (and again, it's not like I'm about to touch anyone, nor have I touched anyone or anything since I last washed them), I wash, and I wash, and I wash them. I don't wash them and hum the "Happy Birthday" song in my head; I try to recite "The Raven" in my head, instead. This is good for at least five minutes of washing, and then I have to give up forevermore, because I can no longer remember all 1177 words of "The Raven".

The problem here: I have a feeling it pleases them that I wash and wash and wash them 'til my palms sting. It does not please them that I won't dry my hands with a germy towel, though. I shake them off as best I can, and then I let them dry in the germy air.

Then, taking inspiration from Leonardo DiCaprio, when he portrayed Howard Hughes in "The Aviator", I refuse to touch anything with my pretend-hygienic hands. The "Aviator" segment that I remember best shows Howard scrubbing up in the men's room, but then he realizes he won't be able to leave the room without touching the filthy doorknob. And in a public restroom, yes, there might be something to this. But come on, work past it somehow (Howard's workaround was to wait 'til someone ELSE opened the door, and he was able sneak out while it was still open).

If I do have to touch something, no way around it, I go back to the lavatory and scrub my hands for another five minutes. This gets tiresome quite quickly.

The DSM people would have us think that this is an OCD (cluster C) type of behavior, while I think I see more comorbidity with the cluster B disorders. This is not to say that I subscribe in any way to the gobbledygook that the psych people spew. They occasionally do get lucky and persuade a disturbed person to be less-disturbed, but it's a a matter of luck and of somehow relaxing the patient's anxieties, rather than because of some professional sleight-of-hand.

Anyway, who's got insight into this?