Re: I AM SORRY I CANNOT FINISH THIS BOWL THEY HAVE GIVEN ME
YOU SEE, WHAT HAPPENED IN 4/85 WHEN THEY SWITCHED PLACES........AND I REFUSED THEM AND FORCED THEM TO PUT ME BACK DOWN.......

THE ANGELS WOULD IMMEDIATELY APPEAR.....MANY BAD THINGS WERE GOING TO HAPPEN AND I WOULD DIE AT THE AGE OF 27.

AND SO IT WAS SEALED THAT I PROMISED TO "CLOSE MY EYES" AND THE ANGEL RECALCUTED THINGS AND SAID "27 PLUS 11. THAT WILL WORK"

BUT THEN, THE AIR WAS ALWAYS DIFFERENT, AS IF ALWAYS GRAY, AND I FELT NUMB, NOT RIGHT AT ALL. THEN MANY HORRIBLE THINGS WOULD BEGIN TO HAPPEN, IT BECAME LIKE I WAS JUST ALWAYS RUNNING AND WANDERING IN DARKNESS AND FEELING LIKE THEY HAD SOMEHOW SEPARATED ME FROM GOD.

NOW, I WOULD NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THE ANGEL MEANT THAT DAY, UNTIL AT AGE 38, I WOULD BE CAUGHT UP BY FORCE INTO BATTLE WITH THEM AGAIN.

BUT THIS TIME, I HAD BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH, THAT I FINALLY HAD GOTTEN OUT OF THE CHURCH DOCTRINE TO FORGIVE FORGIVE FORGIVE AND TAKE WHATEVER. THIS TIME, I HAD HAD MY ASS BEATEN TOO MANY TIMES, AND BEEN THROUGH TOO MUCH.......AND I WAS PREPARED TO FIGHT.......

SO, WITH MY DAUGHTER'S FAKE DAD, HE WAS ALREADY A CHEATER AND ABUSER, BUT STILL AT THAT TIME, I FELT I SHOULD TRY AND MAKE THE MARRIAGE WORK......BUT IT CAME ABOUT AFTER YEARS.........HE FOUND ME, AS I WOULD DO........AND SNEAK UP AT NIGHT TO HAVE A MOMENT ALONE........AND I WOULD CRY ABOUT SO MANY THINGS AND PRAY.........AND SO, HE CAME AND SAID TO ME "WHAT ARE YOU CRYING ABOUT?" AND I SAID "I MISS MY BROTHER" AND HE SAID "WELL, I AM SORRY I AM NOT YOUR BROTHER" AND I SAID "I AM TOO. HE WAS A REAL MAN"

AND SO, WELL, I FINALLY HAD TO GET A DIVORCE YOU KNOW, MY PATIENCE HAD RUN OUT AND THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO WITH HIM.

BUT HIM, HIM, HE SEEMED AS CONFUSED AS MY DAD WAS, THAT I WAS NOT ME ANYMORE, AND I WAS SOMEWHERE ELSE. ONE DAY HE CALLS AND HE SAYS TO ME "HAVE YOU FINALLY COME BACK DOWN TO EARTH AND REALITY" AND I SAID "I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE ON EARTH." THIS WENT ON FOR AWHILE, AS IF HE WAS TRYING TO FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.........HE SEEMED TO ALWAYS BE THINKING ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS.......HE ACTED VERY DIFFERENT TOWARDS ME THAN HE DID ALL THE OTHER WOMEN............LIKE STUDYING ME......