It sounds like you have been doing some intense work with meditation and New Age doctrines

my experience is different

I have just had visitations initially from the dead since the age of 3

The Angels first visited when I was 11

It was 2006 when they first came and took me out of my body and I was in Spirit Form and we went places together


But I don't try for it

I don't do anything

They just show up with messages or they take me out of my body and we go places

I don't have any control over it

it just happens