This past Sunday I died... twice. Would you like to hear about it?

Let me start off by giving you a brief back story. I am 48 years old. Active. I still work private security and raise my livestock. When I was 34 I had a heart attack. I had ignored high blood pressure and probably drank a little too hard as a young soldier. It left me with a cardiomyopathy. At 34 they put a dual purpose ICD in my chest. Defibrillator/ pacer assist. My ejection fraction is 15% but I dont feel it most of the time. When I get sick it always affects my heart but other then that I live a normal life.

So on Sunday I was a little sick. Had a virus and was horribly dehydrated. I am staying away from my home at the moment to work and complete some classes. I stay with a friend that I have known since school. I felt ok but a little run down. Was setting on the couch watching a movie. My friend was also here.

At one point I felt strange. My heart fluttered and I felt my pacer kick in. Then out of nowhere my defib hit me with the high voltage. I knew what was happening and rolled off the couch o to my hands and knees. I remember most of this. I knew the moment I was dying. I am not afraid of death. I have come to terms with it during early deployments. But I remember at that moment being afraid. Not of the pain or death. But I felt bad leaving my kids. I have stuff I still want to see and accomplish. I was upset because I knew my wife would be heart broken. I remember seeing the irony in dying like this after everything I had lived through and asked God to help me pull through this attack. I just didnt want to die right then and there.

Here is where it gets weird. I do have faith. Never been big on supernatural so bare with me. I remember fading out. Like going to sleep on anesthesia. Then I woke up. My friend was over me calling 911. The dog was taking advantage of the situation and licking me right on my damn teeth haha. But I came to. I sat up and saw that I had rolled around pushed a couch across the room. I asked my friend what happened after I went to my knees and she told me I was being shocked again. So the defibrillator worked. It revived me. But I sat up and started watching the movie again. I remember the entire scene that occurred during the time my heart stopped and I was on the ground. I remember watching myself lay on the ground. I was able to repeat the entire dialogue of the movie that was on through my flatline. We even pulled the movie up on demand to see if I was right. I was right word for word.

I didnt see a light. But i was comforted. I hit a place where i seemed to be ok with the idea of moving on and it seemed like subconsciously i was fully aware of every second of this ordeal. To sum it up the doc said it was due to me being sick and dehydrated. My electrolytes were off and it hit my heart. They kept me over night and read the history of my device. I died twice. I was flatlined for about 30 seconds between the 2 shocks.