Anyone been through a mediation before divorce?

I went through mediation after a divorce concerning finances, etc. In neither case did we want to take it as far as getting lawyers. It's a less aggressive avenue for those seeking to do less damage, especially for the sake of the kids if any. Our mediator was also a lawyer, but without that hat on per se.

Last Edited by syncro on 06/25/2019 12:41 PM

Thank you for answering.

Im looking forward to mediation so someone can hear my side of the story.

My husband never wanted to go to any type of counseling or get help for his actions. Instead of working things out with me hes runs to his mother who put it in his head i want his things (even though hes not rich). He filed for divorce immediately after finding out i was pregnant.

We have a mediation coming up but i am not able to get a lawyer unless its a free one, which im waiting on a response from. He has an attorney and whats temporary orders for our kids, even though we live together.

I have told him in person and through text i absolutely want nothing from him. I only want my things, the kids things, and a few pieces of furniture. I really wanted to work things out even after all hes put me through.

I want the mediator to help us come up with a plan; because i may very well have to represent myself.

Mine has pointless and annoying.

We already agreed I'd pay $400/month (our house payment) for 5 years but when I walked into the mediation meeting, that became a shocking $1400/month.

In response, I dumped my charges of slander into the mix. My wife had filed a bunch of false police charges that were truly insane but hadn't informed her lawyer or mediator.

They left to discuss, came back and agreed to the original $400/month and I said, "Fuck you", now you get nothing.

It took two more lawyers and three years but in the end, my ex-wife got... nothing and actually owes me legal costs.

Mediation is usually less about your feelings and more about who gets what so that everyone is equally unhappy.

Its easier to just set fire to yourself and walk out the door

Meditation before a divorce can be good. Meditation can help clear your mind and relieve you of stress. You don't need candles or soft music to do meditation. You don't need to be a hippy

Yes I recommend meditation before a divorce. You can't go wrong

mediations aren't to save your marriage. it's do decide a settlement instead of going to court.

Have articulated coccyx, ow

Is someone making meditation pads for people with articulated coccyx, is market? Make pad, Profit

Mediators are nothing short of court ordered extortionists who will try to scare you into giving everything to the other party.

I don't own much. But I also don't want any of my husbands property. None of it.

I wanted to discuss the main issues at hand which are far from material related.

That is bs my husband and his mother had crafted against me.

Nope i signed everything she wanted by by bitch.

Ya, I remember the story. Anyway, the mediator is most likely going to try and get you to give up your kids and then get you to 'compromise'. They will tell you that court will be super scary but that it's your choice to settle it now but court is super super scary and if you take your chances, you don't know what will happen. Unless you're a total incompetent or have really screwed up, don't believe the super scary hype. If you are not happy with what is proposed, TAKE IT TO COURT.

If you're intelligent, educate yourself for pro se' litigation. You don't need to hire an attorney to lose when you can do that for free but you just might fare better than you will with an attorney.

It's all bullshit and thankfully, I've never had to go through it for divorce but to get a squatter out of my house. I know others who have told me about divorce mediation.

Just so you know, you can petition the court for a reduced fee for your participation.

Last Edited by janedoenut on 06/25/2019 03:23 PM

Your husband already lawyered up. I recommend you do the same. Either way, make sure your are given a list of at least three supposed neutral mediators. Then research them to see if there is anything that would flag them as biased. Also, prepare to be uncompromising on what you demand. Don't give up anything. If he wants something you don't care about, let the mediator believe you don't like it, but are willing to compromise and let him have it. Do this and you will stand a good chance of at least getting them to agree to some of the things you wanted.

It's not about 'things' he wants the kids and for her to pay child support.

It's difficult to find an actual neutral mediator. Usually they have some sort of bias towards the people they have to work with on a usual basis, i.e. the lawyers.

Last Edited by TlvmmCpoft on 06/25/2019 03:33 PM

Custody and child support are "things". If he wants this, there is nothing to mediate. Get a lawyer and take it all. Make him accept your generosity later.

it was pointless. But required. If you get to that point, it's over anyway..or should be