Trump To Buy Greenland, Install Shiplap, Hardwood Floors, Flip For Profit

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“Look at it; it’s prime real estate,” Trump told the press. “It’s on the very desirable Upper West Side -- you know, of the Prime Meridian -- and if we just modernize it a bit, that’s going to be some valuable property. And I’m going to split the profits from selling it with the American people, 60/40.”