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Stray Cat In My Back Yard

 
Mental Case
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User ID: 77751475
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08/29/2019 08:04 PM
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Stray Cat In My Back Yard
There's a stray kitty hanging out in my back yard...poor little guy was skin & bones so I started feeding him.

Last night I left the food dish outside & after dark I hear GRUNT NOM NOM NOM...I thought to myself...kitty doesn't make noises like that.

I get the flashlight & look...it's a racoon eating kittys food. And the thing growels at me.

I open & slam the screen door & yell at it...it doesn't care...I shine the flashlight in it's eyes...it doesn't care.

So I just gave kitty a big dinner & I made a new dish of food with lots of tobasco sauce :D

I'm gonna set it outside after dark dance
If I am going to be damned...I am going to be damned for who I really am!
Anonymous Coward
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08/29/2019 08:06 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
I would have fed it buck shot


But hot sauce works too
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 61724142
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08/29/2019 08:07 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
There's a stray kitty hanging out in my back yard...poor little guy was skin & bones so I started feeding him.

Last night I left the food dish outside & after dark I hear GRUNT NOM NOM NOM...I thought to myself...kitty doesn't make noises like that.

I get the flashlight & look...it's a racoon eating kittys food. And the thing growels at me.

I open & slam the screen door & yell at it...it doesn't care...I shine the flashlight in it's eyes...it doesn't care.

So I just gave kitty a big dinner & I made a new dish of food with lots of tobasco sauce :D

I'm gonna set it outside after dark dance
 Quoting: Mental Case


you are a good person.

clappa
Yo Adrian

User ID: 71651013
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08/29/2019 08:07 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
[link to pinchofyum.com (secure)]
(Pulls off mask)"And we would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for those meddling Qtards" Klaus S.
Anonymous Coward
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08/29/2019 08:08 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
I would have fed it buck shot


But hot sauce works too
 Quoting: Disfigured Stick Figure


and you are an ass wipe
Q33

User ID: 77943034
Canada
08/29/2019 08:09 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
There's a stray kitty hanging out in my back yard...poor little guy was skin & bones so I started feeding him.

Last night I left the food dish outside & after dark I hear GRUNT NOM NOM NOM...I thought to myself...kitty doesn't make noises like that.

I get the flashlight & look...it's a racoon eating kittys food. And the thing growels at me.

I open & slam the screen door & yell at it...it doesn't care...I shine the flashlight in it's eyes...it doesn't care.

So I just gave kitty a big dinner & I made a new dish of food with lots of tobasco sauce :D

I'm gonna set it outside after dark dance
 Quoting: Mental Case


Should of tossed something at it damn coons!
Q33

User ID: 77943034
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08/29/2019 08:09 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
I would have fed it buck shot


But hot sauce works too
 Quoting: Disfigured Stick Figure


cool2
Anonymous Coward
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08/29/2019 08:10 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
I would have fed it buck shot


But hot sauce works too
 Quoting: Disfigured Stick Figure


and you are an ass wipe
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 61724142


Food was for kitty


fuck you and the raccoon
chasity

User ID: 77360012
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08/29/2019 08:11 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
rofl
grass fed sardines
Mental Case  (OP)

User ID: 77751475
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08/29/2019 08:12 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
I hope kitty leaves it alone...that's why I'm stuffing him full right now.

I'm gonna take in the water dish too so the racoon has no relief banana2
If I am going to be damned...I am going to be damned for who I really am!
Anonymous Coward
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08/29/2019 08:13 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
Scratch it's belly
Mental Case  (OP)

User ID: 77751475
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08/29/2019 08:14 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
That racoon is gonna be farting fire all night!

MMMMMMM smells like burnt racoon asshole 5a

I used like a quarter bottle of tobasco.

Last Edited by Mental Case on 08/29/2019 08:14 PM
If I am going to be damned...I am going to be damned for who I really am!
chasity

User ID: 77360012
United States
08/29/2019 08:15 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
That racoon is gonna be farting fire all night!

MMMMMMM smells like burnt racoon asshole 5a

I used like a quarter bottle of tobasco.
 Quoting: Mental Case


give him some sugar free chocolates too! russel stover in particular, the whole box, it will be worth it!
grass fed sardines
Anonymous Coward
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08/29/2019 08:16 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
stray cats spread disease, have fun with that
Anonymous Coward
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United States
08/29/2019 08:17 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
That racoon is gonna be farting fire all night!

MMMMMMM smells like burnt racoon asshole 5a

I used like a quarter bottle of tobasco.
 Quoting: Mental Case


give him some sugar free chocolates too! russel stover in particular, the whole box, it will be worth it!
 Quoting: chasity


omg


Didn't realize you were that evil!


gasp
Anonymous Coward
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08/29/2019 08:18 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
Yeah I had those too :( Some of my most cherished friends were cats :(
chasity

User ID: 77360012
United States
08/29/2019 08:19 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
That racoon is gonna be farting fire all night!

MMMMMMM smells like burnt racoon asshole 5a

I used like a quarter bottle of tobasco.
 Quoting: Mental Case


give him some sugar free chocolates too! russel stover in particular, the whole box, it will be worth it!
 Quoting: chasity


omg


Didn't realize you were that evil!


gasp
 Quoting: Disfigured Stick Figure


evil
grass fed sardines
Mental Case  (OP)

User ID: 77751475
United States
08/29/2019 08:20 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
give him some sugar free chocolates too! russel stover in particular, the whole box, it will be worth it!

----------

Why? What do sugar free chocolates do?
If I am going to be damned...I am going to be damned for who I really am!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76715508
United States
08/29/2019 08:25 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
That racoon is gonna be farting fire all night!

MMMMMMM smells like burnt racoon asshole 5a

I used like a quarter bottle of tobasco.
 Quoting: Mental Case


give him some sugar free chocolates too! russel stover in particular, the whole box, it will be worth it!
 Quoting: chasity


omg


Didn't realize you were that evil!


gasp
 Quoting: Disfigured Stick Figure


:evil:
 Quoting: chasity


chuckle
Starter Human

User ID: 65691478
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08/29/2019 08:26 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
more like house on stray cat's property.
"If you can't laugh at yourself, then I will."
Anonymous Coward
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08/29/2019 08:29 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
Surrender to your new cat master!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76715508
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08/29/2019 08:30 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
give him some sugar free chocolates too! russel stover in particular, the whole box, it will be worth it!

----------

Why? What do sugar free chocolates do?
 Quoting: Mental Case



laxative effect...but on a scale that could rival a nuclear blast.
Anonymous Coward
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08/29/2019 08:30 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
What kind of food is he getting? Where does he go to sleep at night?
chasity

User ID: 77360012
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08/29/2019 08:30 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
give him some sugar free chocolates too! russel stover in particular, the whole box, it will be worth it!

----------

Why? What do sugar free chocolates do?
 Quoting: Mental Case


hot lava spewing out of the ass.
grass fed sardines
Louis in Richmond
I have heard the deafening silence.

User ID: 74439198
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08/29/2019 08:31 PM

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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
I've a feral cat and an opossum living in my backyard.

I feed them both.

possum
Until your military service has required you neutralize enemy combatants and invaders in the defense of your country,
don't presume to tell us that have defended you that you don't support every shot we fired to eliminate that enemy.
Mental Case  (OP)

User ID: 77751475
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08/29/2019 08:32 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
Surrender to your new cat master!

----------

The little shit keeps trying to get me to let him in the house...he even resorted to sitting at my back door in the rain looking all pathetic and sad.

I opened the door and said "NO" and slammed it closed in his face...then he went where ever he goes to seek shelter.
If I am going to be damned...I am going to be damned for who I really am!
Mental Case  (OP)

User ID: 77751475
United States
08/29/2019 08:37 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
What kind of food is he getting? Where does he go to sleep at night?

-----------

No idea where he sleeps...some days I don't even see him...he's out galavanting.

He was initially so skinny I didn't think he would live...His bone structure was "lacking"...he couldn't even eat the solids in chunky soup (chicken & dumpling)...he only lapped up the liquids.

I was feeding him about 6 times a day trying to give him a fighting chance.

In 2 days he was eating solids so I focused on protein carbs fat & calcium. (Tuna or canned salmon, bread crumbs, and cottage cheese mixed in).
If I am going to be damned...I am going to be damned for who I really am!
Anonymous Coward
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08/29/2019 08:38 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
he might smell the tabasco sauce right away because it has a vapor. better to take a ghost pepper, chop it up into small pieces, and hide it in the food you put out for him. Ghost pepper is damn near odorless and doesn't burn you right away so the raccoon will be chomping away at the food for a while before he runs away screaming
Ricky MModerator
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User ID: 71504938
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08/29/2019 08:39 PM

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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
What if the cat eats the hot sauce!!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77086501
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08/29/2019 08:39 PM
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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
I've a feral cat and an opossum living in my backyard.

I feed them both.

:possum:
 Quoting: Louis in Richmond


I have a feral cat and a raccoon who comes every night at the same time. He was eating the cat food, too, but I started giving him other scraps. I save plate scrapings for him. He's smaller than the cat, who is pretty scrawny.

Raccoons like liquid with their food. I have given this one a little beer in the cat food and he loves it. I don't think it will hurt him. He just came right up to me while I had one in my hand so...

OPOSSUMS eat ticks. They are good to have around! Cheers!
Louis in Richmond
I have heard the deafening silence.

User ID: 74439198
United States
08/29/2019 08:41 PM

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Re: Stray Cat In My Back Yard
I've a feral cat and an opossum living in my backyard.

I feed them both.

possum
 Quoting: Louis in Richmond


I have a feral cat and a raccoon who comes every night at the same time. He was eating the cat food, too, but I started giving him other scraps. I save plate scrapings for him. He's smaller than the cat, who is pretty scrawny.

Raccoons like liquid with their food. I have given this one a little beer in the cat food and he loves it. I don't think it will hurt him. He just came right up to me while I had one in my hand so...

OPOSSUMS eat ticks. They are good to have around! Cheers!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77086501

Yes they do and they are harmless, all they can do is hiss at you or play dead.

And they are adorable!!!


[link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
Until your military service has required you neutralize enemy combatants and invaders in the defense of your country,
don't presume to tell us that have defended you that you don't support every shot we fired to eliminate that enemy.





GLP