You savage bunch of cruel-hearted beasts. How dare you belittle her suffering!

Have you ever suffered chapped lips after too many hours on the deck of your yacht? No? I didn't think so. Do you know what agonys come with chronic tennis elbow? No? I thought not. Don't get me started on the subpar Russian caviar that's out there these days. Royal pantry ran out last year & there's been hell to pay. But you brutes wouldn't know anything about that in your idyllic 1-BR apartments & your splashy economy cars.

How about a little sympathy already? About time.