Help me figure out a personal conspiracy?

So, I grew up with someone a researcher thought was Munchhausen by Proxy due to their behavior.
I just think they're an exploitative psychopath.

But, either way, their lying and bizarre maneuvering has led to some "What the fuck was that really?" moments.

Help me make sense of this one?

A little about them:

So, they were a DoD contractor/whatever-other-agency-was-hiring scientist. I never saw them do much in the sciences other than supervise. Most of what I saw them doing was recruiting participants for research projects and new workers for the organization that was writing their paychecks.

They talked about how they spent their early days giving cancer to lab rats. That was their job.

But here's where my question comes in:

When I was little, she would do things like show me a watch with a radium dial, and sell me on sleeping with it under my pillow because "it might cause a brain tumor" which she sold as an exciting and edgy thing.

She brought me in for radiation therapy when I was around 5 years old (didn't tell me what it was, and the asshat doctors told me it was to "make me smarter," but the machinery used was the top of the line radiation therapy equipment of the time, so that part of the question is already solved).

The radiation therapy was focused on my head.

When the doctors said I didn't need radiation therapy anymore, she threw THE BIGGEST fit of all time and started screaming at them for hours.

She never told me I had cancer.

I did often feel sick around her. I rarely feel sick when far the hell away from her. If she was actually a clear case of Munchhausen by Proxy, she may have simply been poisoning me. Although, there's also a possibility that - since she didn't feel the need to explain the cancer treatment to me - that she was slipping me chemo or other cancer medication regularly when I was living with her.

Roughly around the same time as the radiation therapy, she brought me to a doctor in Boston who did some sort of surgery on one of my eyes. I lost vision in it after that and have never fully regained it. Later, a doctor would suggest I needed therapy for the damaged eye to improve the sight - she turned them down. I'm now paying out of pocket to do it in my adult life.

Fast forward through a few years of feeling like death, and she signed me into a chemotherapy trial in Farmington, Connecticut.

She had been altering medical documents to match whatever condition was in vogue, and had been signing me into a lot of paid research trials and pocketing the cash during that time. She had connections inside of the medical research building over at Yale and seemed to have inside knowledge as to what the best paying studies were looking for in participants.

...this is, by the way, how I decided she was an exploitative psychopath and how a researcher decided that she was Munchhausen by Proxy. She had signed me into the best paying study at Yale at the time, for a condition I did not have (epilepsy), and one of the researchers realized I didn't have the condition. But back to the subject at hand..

I'm sitting in Farmington, Connecticut receiving chemotherapy. No one has told me I have cancer at this point, ever. Did I have cancer? That's my question. I'm wondering if I had cancer to begin with.

I did develop cancer after the chemotherapy, most likely as a direct result. I had a gnarly mass growing in my abdomen (remember, the original one they were treating was in my skull or eye). It was bad enough that it caused me physical discomfort and stomach aches of an odd variety. No one looked at it, nothing was done about it (but you'll hear more about it later in this).

Fast forward a couple more years, I'm still a kid. A local hospital finally got radiation therapy equipment (a particle accelerator). It was going to take a year for them to meet all of the safety requirements, calibrations, and testing before it could be used on the public.

She wasn't waiting for that. She used her connections at the hospital and snuck me into the room and had me under the untested machine within 2 minutes of entering. So, I guess we can add that to my radiation therapy list.

Now, remember the actual tumor in my abdomen that was growing by then? I was walking down the street near the research hospital when an orderly literally ran out to me, on the street, and told me I had cancer in my abdomen. I thought he was insane. I had known him in social settings for years, but in that moment I decided he had me confused with someone else. Why would he have to tell me outside of the hospital? Wouldn't they have told me in it? These were the things I was thinking.

Fast forward to when I was in my early 20s and the cancer in my abdomen was confirmed by another doctor several states away where I had fled to. It was slow growing, but it was coming close to taking me down by that point. They removed it. I lost a couple years of my life to that process.

So, that's where my story tapers off with her and cancer, but the question remains, because no one ever told me. Did I actually have the childhood cancer that first radiation treatment and chemotherapy were for?

If it were "for my benefit" one would assume that someone would have told me, at least when I was an adult, so I could continue to be screened for it when I went for physical exams.

As for if I'm her only victim - no. The woman qualifies as a cancer cluster. Family members, people she doesn't like, and most children living with her develop cancer.

And no, she isn't living in a cancer cluster area where half the town has an increased risk due to some environmental factor. This isn't a community issue. She is the cancer cluster.

So, again, the question that has plagued me. Did I have cancer before all of the treatment?

Last Edited by TlvmmCpoft on 10/22/2019 11:25 AM