Breaking: Canadian uses salad fork for entire dinner

Willowdale, Ontario
In a brazen act of defiance, a local man allegedly used only his salad fork throughout his entire dinner, placing his completely clean, unused dinner fork on his plate with his obviously used salad fork after finishing. Toronto-based environmental group, What the hey, Canada? (WTHC) issued a statement:

"Now, we apologize a bit for feeling this way, and while we wholeheartedly support freedom of expression, this just gets our goats. The resources for cleaning an already clean fork are gone forever. Now, understand, we're sure he's a good chap and all, but darn it, you just don't do that, folks. Come on, now! Again, sorry for any offence because we intended none. Have a nice day, now."

This is a developing story.