I just retired yesterday from working at a maximum security prison for over 30 years. Ask me a question.

OP has already admitted earlier he wants to kill people himself

he's no better than the ones he guarded

1. Thats about it. 2.Inmates can buy a small color tv that is made if clear plastic so nothing can be hid inside it.They get about a dozen tv channels.No game systems. But they can have a mp3 player.
3. Family members have to be at separate prisons usually. 4.They started a program were inmates get a tablet for an hour a day.So they know how to use it when they get out. No internet access though. 5.They had g.e.d. The lower levels had trade schooling and 3 d truck driving class. Cad machines to learn. 6.Yes they will be charged with a crime and put in segregation. Yes more prison time.

“If you want to see the absolute scum of the earth go to any prison in the US during shift change.”

–Paul Harvey

How many salads are tossed each day?

What is one of your favorite stories to tell?

What is one of the worst stories you can tell us?

Thanks for your reply!

How many salads are tossed each day?

What is one of your favorite stories to tell?

What is one of the worst stories you can tell us?

Thanks for your reply!

I have to think about the most fav. worst is easy. A prisoner wanted to circumcise himself. Each cell has a steel footlocker bolted to the concrete. That inmate stuck his dick between the cover and the footlocker and slammed his penis until the skin was hanging off. Brought him to the hospital. The doctor cut the rest of the skin that was hanging.Sent him back to the prison . later on that night his ball sack filled up with blood. The doctor squeezed his ball sack and all the blood came pouring out.
Another prisoner would hide a razorblade up his dick hole. One time a prisoner cut open his guts and his guts were hanging down. The doctor sewed him up. The the inmate shoved a bunch of pens in the suture site.

oh yeah This inmate shoved a wire with a hook on it up his dick hole. The doctors hat to slice open his dick to get it out.

I think the worst stuff was when they smear shit all over themself. They would also eat their own shit balls.

Why would they eat their own shit?

WRONG ANSWER! But YOU ARE a triggered cry baby liberal that would be a prison bitch because you're already a bitch on the outside.

Yup...I see it as retroactive abortion.

idk. I think they were trying to act really crazy so nobody would fuck with them. Also if you are crazy enough they send you to the mental ward prison. Which prisoners like it better.

Were there any female guards there?

If so, did you have sex with any of them?

Are female guards usually dykes?

If so, do you suppose they dyked each other out?

did you see anyone get their cheeks busted?

There was a few female guards.I did date a woman that worked at the prison with me. That was many years ago. There seems to be a higher percent of dykes that work there. I did find out a couple dykes did get it on at a house party. If any good looking female started working there it always caused problems. The inmates would be at their cell door jerkin off when the woman made rounds.

No i never did see anyone get there shit pushed in. I did see many sick solo acts though. While making rounds. There was a guy that would suck his own dick all the time.

That's funny!

You've been great!

One last question...Being as this is GLP you had to know this was coming.

How many salads did you toss?

haha.No salad for me. Im a meat eater. Oh wait that did not sound good either. haha um . A funny thing at work. You cannot eat a banana at work. Every officer or inmate will say rude comments while you eat that banana.

Seriously, thank you for helping to keep dangerous people out of society, however long their sentence.

Is it true that first time rape victims get an authentic "Sore Butt Club Membership Certificate" signed by the warden?

Do the pedos get a daily beat down or raping?

Pedos are kept in a protection wing.

What? I was under the impression they get immediately dealt with by the other prisoners once the go in. WTF?

There are many other prisoners that would shank them in a heartbeat. They are kept in a separate unit or wing. Pedos are the biggest whiners about their rights while in prison. How about the kid you fucked up for the rest of your life mother fucker.I am not saying i turned a blind eye when karmic justice happened but they deserved it.

They do get a beating every now and again. It happens but not often.

How and when did you discover GLP?

Innocent people being banged up?? Have you seen it happen?