g'day , Australia, tip of the cucumbre, Britons :)

what's up(side-down) my ninjas?

i am composing this message to share my condolences for what is happening to your country. it seems you are incurring the lord's wrath. to me, that is not cool, and i hope you will share my message with your compatriots.


what with the fires, viruses, plagues of locusts, etc,,
not to mention how lethal your country is, just from nature alone. you have spiders the size of my hand for crying in the night!

so it is with my deepest compassion that i extend you this invitation. you are hereby welcome to move to Humboldt county, california. please repatriate here and be my friends.

its that, or i'll be forced to move down there and become your defacto leader till things get sorted out. revolutions always incur a few casualties... so the other way would be preferable. take the jump, come on over here ya big goobers!


i hope this message finds you in good health. sometimes having a backup plan is enough to spur the motivation you need to make other changes. consider Eureka California as your Sanctuary, if it comes to it. we could use some nice folks to offset all the miserable shitbags who inhabit it.


yours truly,

a friend


to the UK fellowes-

the same goes to you. i can think of only a few things beter than a sudden mass influx of foreigners from these two countries. it would really serve to clean this place up... i just know it.

please know i am fully being genuine and consider my plea. i will do anything within my power to allocate buddies out here with whatever they need.