I too was an atheist for most of my life. it wasnt until i was in my early 30's that things began to change. most of my career was focused in physics, pharma, technology, and manufacturing. I work a lot with AI. I was the guy responsible for programming the AI we needed to use in many of our simulations. as i was programming one day it dawned on me that we could know if there was something beyond our world based on one simple test. Invariable values.

When you program an AI you can use variable, which the AI can manipulate, or hard coded traits defined by the programmer that cannot be manipulated by the AI. I postulated that if there was a God we would observe invariable values that we couldnt manipulate. the reason this proves a God is because invariable values MUST be defined PRIOR to the system that is being written. Also the invariable values cannot change or the entire system will collapse. therefore if invariable values exist within our universe this means that there was something that existed prior to our universe that determined those values.

Of course i already knew the answer was that we do indeed have invariable values (speed of light, plank constant, etc) therefore i was face with the reality of a God. that was over 15 years ago and since then i have discovered many more things that indeed prove a God exists, and even who this God is.

All i can say is that God is real, and once you are faced with this reality you have decisions to make. especially in the face of something as big as what you are facing.