"Unbearably painful symptoms"

Let's see...

* Gonorrhea?
A highly contagious sexually transmitted infection that often causes pain during urination, and pain during vaginal sex.

* Herpes?
Symptoms include pain in the genital area from lesions or sores.

* STDs that result in painful sex:
Genital warts, gonorrhea, chlamydia, herpes, trich, and syphilis

* Psychosis?
A severe mental disorder in which thought and emotions are so impaired that contact is lost with external reality.

* Full of Shit?
Abdominal pain and constipation often go hand in hand. Abdominal pain is a symptom that commonly presents with constipation.