i guess you can say that i've been self medicating. yeah, sure, in a big way it's an excuse, but, it's also somewhat true.

i've watched my business crumble and my parents run into hard times as well, without any way to help them. without much to do--not allowed to do anything--it makes it feel easier in the evenings. and then in the mornings, i feel bad. i don't feel hungover or anything, i just feel bad for drinking. yeah, i'm facing corona depression, and the drink isn't helping.