questioning the reliability of a method is typical deflection.
yet here you are! i don't doubt that you came to your own conclusions and were not assisted by any others. it's particularly obvious to me having never heard the same deflections previously! lol

but you would not bother, if you weren't bothered? which to me points to a realization that you are searching for your happiness and have not found it yet!

the needs for spiritual, intellectual and emotional capacities equal or greater then your own, are not easily found.