Hey...I feel you...hang in there, let me sing you a lullaby

It was a very powerful inspiration - I am glad it went where it was needed.

In service.

~Bodhi

Lullaby

Play me a rock n roll song



I like music threads

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i die inside everyday. this devil thing, this reptilian devil script with it's multiple personalities and this thing in my stomach, both together, working together destroying the entire wold around me, forcing me into this hatred of everything, and the voices and all the bugs, the voices never cease driving me off the cliff to total rage. all together they drive me to the brink of madness everyday. most days i can't think of anything better than suicide.

from the sides of their mouths they keep saying heaven, and ascension, while they do nothing but show themselves to be true to life devils. showering me with hatred and despair, all the while acting as if they have no clue what they do.

it's been like this for the past 4 1/2 years, i had a bunch of hair loss in 1 week, i became obese with no way of stopping it, they forced me to stop being able to shit, just so this reptilian devil could be comfortable. they turned my mom into a demon, she constantly helps them, and I'm literally trapped in a life i only want to suicide from.

this all began the moment i was born, with sequential changes, what is called Ian, was flashed into me 22ish years ago doing heavy evil to me and everyone around me, especially people i think of as friends. Some kind of 5D jinni or demigod , connected to 1111 the fallen angels, has been connected to me since September 2007.

something that's been with me since birth has been trying to kill me destroying my life the entire time.

During all of this they are trying not to get in trouble.

I use to have every bit of this cataloged in my head but they took to getting me to punch my self in the head. I worked out I've given my self approx. 1750+ concussions. as I realized I could disorient their holographic insert that causes me to hear the voices. due to the cone needing to interface with distinct areas of my brain, as well as be able to sleep.

they keep saying I'm psychic but it's not really psychic in any way. it's only psychic in the idea that i'm terrorized.

We choose what we align with.

I can't say I align with anything at this point. After having been trapped in my backseat this entire time with only glimpses of not being in it, I can't see anything being a choice as much as a forced imposition. After having been impersonated and remote controlled so much that I can't know who exactly I am anymore.

I wanted love but that's been barred from me for almost 20 years. Having this cupid / big head running things I can't deduce what's real and what's a scam.

maybe what they do is force a person into what they want a person to be, and the person has no choice but to think they are only what the controllers want?

BTW I don't listen to the music on here it's not much of my forte. this would be more my liking:


As for the world, there isn't much I can do being the world wants to continue the disease it's been.

Even if we are forced into something, or led - as we are really never forced...there is still the option to decide this isn't what aligns with heart.

For me, it isn't a question, and I can feel more clearly now.

I was always stuck on the part of how everything wrong always seemed to have such a big piece of it that was right.

Seems it is that way for a lot of people.



:heartcompass:


:ebbsandflows:

obviously you dont know me.

i'm not a masochist, yet.

i dont seek to be in total pain 25/8

i can only smile now when witnessing some comedy show or seeing a video of someone getting hurt. that or something of value that unlocks me.

btw i disagree ultimately though, we are supposed to be happy, we are supposed to be trapped in the elation of joyous enthusiasm. not trapped in the suffering of weeping despair.

your doctrines are inaccurate. we only ever have access to rough drafts with superior falsification.

i have a constant cone in my ass chakra and a synthetic demon reptilian sucking my life out so it can fuck with something the snakes connect to for it to run it's calculations.
so it feels like my asshole is being pulled out while sitting or laying. and i can barely walk due to other snakes in my head, chest, stomach, legs and arms.

i also cant see my posts anymore, i figure i'm being hidden again from my self, as the impersonation is: Always as it seems.

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