I’m starting to get depressed from the lockdown

I’m in Cali so things are stricter here. I feel like there is no light at the end of tunnel. This truly feels like Groundhog Day.

I’m still lucky enough to be able to go on hikes. I’ve been exercising daily. And I have had so much fun watching movies and beating video games.

I always looked down on people that complained about the lockdown and called them selfish. But now I’m starting to become restless.

I’m used to being able to go to the clubs. But I also miss meeting relatives. Going to gym. Many more things. Even though some of these things may come back, I can’t even do them without fear and guilt. Even doing something like grocery shopping is now like a grand event where I have to watch my back, disinfect everything and shower after. I’m getting tired of the routine.

It was fun for a while. But now I feel trapped and I don’t feel like there’s an end in sight, as they say a second wave is coming.

They’ve conditioned me to even fear seeing anyone. So as things open up and cases rise, I won’t even be able to get myself to be around people.

I’m very upset now. What exactly is the plan??? I am thinking this may go on for years if not forever since the flu never went away.

I just don’t feel good about anything anymore. This doesn’t feel real.