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| 02:20 AM | ||
| Users Online Now: 1,450 (Who's On?) | Visitors Today: 205,451 | |
| Pageviews Today: 275,585 | Threads Today: 83 | Posts Today: 1,246 |
| 02:20 AM | ||
Anyone Been Through A Divorce After 20 Years? | |
jkm1864
 User ID: 77810344  United States07/03/2020 03:43 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Dear Connie, Quoting: Ordovician I know the counsellor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again but that was just the wounded little boy in me talkin. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot of thing. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore.I don;t care who makes the first move as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudyly as our hurt. This is what my heart says: "There's no one like you, Connie. I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Flamingos and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, just to illustrate hte depth of my desperation She was young, maybe 19; with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits like you wouldn't believe and an ass that just wouldn't quit. Every man's dream, right? As I sat ont he couch being blown by this stunner, I though, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial. Wht does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes, but you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Connie? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought of that before. I don't know, maybe I'' just growing up a little. Later, after I tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some nagging feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. I didn't feel the same because you weren't there to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you, Connie. Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Vicki's just a college kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's giving me a lot of good advice about you and about women in general. She's pulling for us to get back together. Connie, she really is. So we're doing Jell-O shots in the hot bubble bath and talking about happier times. Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry. And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole anal thing, that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueld some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? Just wipe out all the grievances away and start fresh? I think we can. If you feel the same please, please, please let me know. Otherwise, can you let me know where the fucking remote is? Hahahahahahahaha!!! Pussy Grabber Extraordinaire |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 75225977 United States07/03/2020 03:50 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 66429235 United States07/03/2020 04:00 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Stoidi User ID: 77046882 United States07/03/2020 04:12 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My Mother got divorced after 40 years of marriage. At 20 years of her marriage, her husband left her for another woman. But he came back to after about a week being with his new sexy rich lady. She forgave him. But once a cheater gets started, they usually don’t stop. And finally after 40 years, he started staying at a bar to do his paperwork .....she found receipts where he was buying female friends stuff, she kicked him out. It was hard on her, but not as hard as knowing he was out with other women. My advice is.......so you lost 20 years. You still have time to find a good partner and have 40 years of happiness. Like the counselor told me after 4 1/2 years of being with a man who wanted other women in his life, but me to still help him pay bills and live with him.....”if it’s not good for one, it isn’t good for the other”. No one ever said anything that made more sense to me, that sunk in. Look for honesty in your new mate and don’t look back.  |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 78310900 United States07/03/2020 04:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I was married to my college sweetheart for 30 years before our divorce. It was tough. It's been a couple of years now and I was angry for the first 6 months, sad for the next year, and now I'm just kind of numb about it - just feel philosophically that it's one of those shit experiences that goes with life that you can't do anything about. Nobody promised life was going to be easy, you know? Quoting: GA Girl It's really going to depend on the person and the situation as to how you handle it. It's obviously going to be worse on the person who gets the shaft in the deal. How does a person start over when they are no longer a spring chicken? Well, it is what it is and you learn from the experience and get on down the road. One thing I did learn, though, is that if a spouse dies, people are there to pat you on the back and say they are sorry and that everything will be alright. When you divorce after a long-term marriage, people don't know what to say, so they don't say anything. You know they are thinking, why do it after so many years? No pat on the back - just pretty much the attitude that it's just a divorce and get over it. That might be OK when you've only been married 4-5 years, but when it was decades it truly is like a death. It's the death of your family, it's the death of the future you planned, it might be the death of your financial security, It might mean a home and job change, needing to make new friends because your old married friends don't want to hang with a single any longer, your kids have difficulty processing it and so that impacts your relationship with them. It's a big change. Your right when its a long term marriage when it ends You end up losing EVERYTHING and You have no one that You can go to for comfort. I stayed with My mother for like four months and She yelled at Me and told Me to grow some nuts and just get over it. I couldn't even talk to My twin because He accused Me of just wanting pussy. I lost the love of My life and I went insane with grief and My family just told Me to grow the fuck up. I am now after two years kind of numb and I'm no longer crying about the loss of My family but still I'm like how am I going to rebuild My life after I lost everything and I have no answers. I caught my ex cheating years previously, but decided to forgive him for the sake of the kids. But then he started in again. He and his latest girlfriend worked for the same company, but in different areas of the country, yet they regularly travelled together. However, she got fired (I'm not sure, but in hindsight I suspect somebody at work found out and she was more expendable than him). He got her a job w/his largest customer (he's in sales mgt for a large company). She then talked to a girlfriend higher up yet in his company and the three of them finagled him a transfer to Wichita where she lived. Stupid me, I'm totally oblivious because I was working long hours & busy w/kids. Our last one was in college by now, so like a good wife I quit my job (causing me to lose a pension I was just a few months from vesting in), and we moved to KS. I had to find a new job and that required taking additional Master's work, so I'm working 50 hr weeks and taking night classes and he's out screwing around. When we lived in that close of proximity to the girlfriend, he wasn't able to hide it as well and I got suspicious. I hacked into his computer and found all sorts of pictures of him with other women (some naked). I knew I was going to have to divorce because I was afraid he would clean out the accounts. I also came up with evidence that the recent death of her spouse was not actually "natural causes" and that it was probably planned for me, too. We spouses were worth a whole lot more dead than alive, you know? So I took him to a nice restaurant and dropped the bomb of what I knew. I told him that I had already talked to a couple of trusted people and gave them downloaded evidence from his computer and if anything happened to me they were to go to the police. Man, was he upset! But, they both caved and allowed me to take 1/2 of our assets, get out of town, and divorce. I outed her affairs (turns out she was having more than one) on her husband's online obituary, so everybody found out. She broke up with my (now ex) and moved back to her home town because everybody was treating her like the whore she was and she was terrified of me. Meanwhile, my ex was crushed and blubbering because he lost both his wife and his girlfriend. But it didn't last long - like the narcissist he is, he looked up one of his old affairs and moved her in and married her w/in just a few months - had to have somebody taking care of him, and I don't doubt he is probably cheating on her now, too. So I quit my job again, left my friends, took half our assets, and moved across the country to a guard-gated community, cutting off all but necessary divorce-related contact w/him. I then found a new job, new friends, and I'm doing OK. You just have to be strong, smart, and have a plan. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 75530075 United States07/03/2020 05:28 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 75530075 United States07/03/2020 05:30 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 76667912 United States07/03/2020 05:41 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Currently separated for 10 months after a 20 year marriage. I got "Monkey Branched" and now my 62 Year old Wife want's to come back....... HELL NO! Only contact Me when you have the Uncontested-Divorce paper-work ready for my signature. Why are you waiting for her to contact you? Why dont you file for divorce instead of waiting for her to send YOU papers? |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 76667912 United States07/03/2020 05:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | OP, Quoting: Lupe_Ate_My_Taco's Get Yourself debt-free, find like minded Mig-Toe buddies in your town. I did and we are all retired with money and no debt. Everyday we BBQ, go fishing, hit the sports bars, hang out at the condo pool until the 18-24 year old women show up then its party time .... Are you sure you're not just enjoying some space and freedom from your marriage right now? If you really dont want your wife back why havent YOU filed for divorce from her. It sounds like you got pissed at your wife for whatever she did and you are just separating yourself from her for awhile until you cool off. Being married for twenty years is a long time. Maybe youre just sort of getting back at her for what she did, telling her hey look at me I can have fun too! Maybe after awhile you'll start missing her after you've had your fun. What will you do if you fall in love with another woman? |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 79082698 United States07/03/2020 05:55 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Long-time (30 plus years) years married person here. Some relationships are worth salvaging. You know in your heart when it's worth it. Bad times come and go and the same can be said for human relationships. Up to your friend to decide if it's worth the work. I'm my own experience it's always been worth it to hang in there. |
| ~Sloane~
User ID: 27903506 United States07/03/2020 06:06 PM  Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I was married to my college sweetheart for 30 years before our divorce. It was tough. It's been a couple of years now and I was angry for the first 6 months, sad for the next year, and now I'm just kind of numb about it - just feel philosophically that it's one of those shit experiences that goes with life that you can't do anything about. Nobody promised life was going to be easy, you know? Quoting: GA Girl It's really going to depend on the person and the situation as to how you handle it. It's obviously going to be worse on the person who gets the shaft in the deal. How does a person start over when they are no longer a spring chicken? Well, it is what it is and you learn from the experience and get on down the road. One thing I did learn, though, is that if a spouse dies, people are there to pat you on the back and say they are sorry and that everything will be alright. When you divorce after a long-term marriage, people don't know what to say, so they don't say anything. You know they are thinking, why do it after so many years? No pat on the back - just pretty much the attitude that it's just a divorce and get over it. That might be OK when you've only been married 4-5 years, but when it was decades it truly is like a death. It's the death of your family, it's the death of the future you planned, it might be the death of your financial security, It might mean a home and job change, needing to make new friends because your old married friends don't want to hang with a single any longer, your kids have difficulty processing it and so that impacts your relationship with them. It's a big change. Your right when its a long term marriage when it ends You end up losing EVERYTHING and You have no one that You can go to for comfort. I stayed with My mother for like four months and She yelled at Me and told Me to grow some nuts and just get over it. I couldn't even talk to My twin because He accused Me of just wanting pussy. I lost the love of My life and I went insane with grief and My family just told Me to grow the fuck up. I am now after two years kind of numb and I'm no longer crying about the loss of My family but still I'm like how am I going to rebuild My life after I lost everything and I have no answers. I caught my ex cheating years previously, but decided to forgive him for the sake of the kids. But then he started in again. He and his latest girlfriend worked for the same company, but in different areas of the country, yet they regularly travelled together. However, she got fired (I'm not sure, but in hindsight I suspect somebody at work found out and she was more expendable than him). He got her a job w/his largest customer (he's in sales mgt for a large company). She then talked to a girlfriend higher up yet in his company and the three of them finagled him a transfer to Wichita where she lived. Stupid me, I'm totally oblivious because I was working long hours & busy w/kids. Our last one was in college by now, so like a good wife I quit my job (causing me to lose a pension I was just a few months from vesting in), and we moved to KS. I had to find a new job and that required taking additional Master's work, so I'm working 50 hr weeks and taking night classes and he's out screwing around. When we lived in that close of proximity to the girlfriend, he wasn't able to hide it as well and I got suspicious. I hacked into his computer and found all sorts of pictures of him with other women (some naked). I knew I was going to have to divorce because I was afraid he would clean out the accounts. I also came up with evidence that the recent death of her spouse was not actually "natural causes" and that it was probably planned for me, too. We spouses were worth a whole lot more dead than alive, you know? So I took him to a nice restaurant and dropped the bomb of what I knew. I told him that I had already talked to a couple of trusted people and gave them downloaded evidence from his computer and if anything happened to me they were to go to the police. Man, was he upset! But, they both caved and allowed me to take 1/2 of our assets, get out of town, and divorce. I outed her affairs (turns out she was having more than one) on her husband's online obituary, so everybody found out. She broke up with my (now ex) and moved back to her home town because everybody was treating her like the whore she was and she was terrified of me. Meanwhile, my ex was crushed and blubbering because he lost both his wife and his girlfriend. But it didn't last long - like the narcissist he is, he looked up one of his old affairs and moved her in and married her w/in just a few months - had to have somebody taking care of him, and I don't doubt he is probably cheating on her now, too. So I quit my job again, left my friends, took half our assets, and moved across the country to a guard-gated community, cutting off all but necessary divorce-related contact w/him. I then found a new job, new friends, and I'm doing OK. You just have to be strong, smart, and have a plan. Wow! No one could ever say you didn't give everything. Good for you not spending the rest of your life with someone like that. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 79082698 United States07/03/2020 06:08 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Marriage is not worth it in this day and age. Let the woman take your last name if she wishes, but don't bother with marriage. It is expensive, people have to travel and buy a ton of shit. Guys almost always get fucked over in a divorce as well. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79088041 This is the advice I give young to young folk...don't get married!!! Most of all don't have children of you're not prepared for them and truly want them!!! |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 78849537 United States07/03/2020 06:08 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 69489708 United States07/03/2020 06:10 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 79008504 United States07/03/2020 06:13 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | OP, Quoting: Lupe_Ate_My_Taco's Get Yourself debt-free, find like minded Mig-Toe buddies in your town. I did and we are all retired with money and no debt. Everyday we BBQ, go fishing, hit the sports bars, hang out at the condo pool until the 18-24 year old women show up then its party time .... :homo: Having sex with 18 to 24 year old women makes me Gay? I think you really dont understand what that means .... lol At your age you are a creep. That's the problem with your age group. You take the young ones who should be for your kids or grandchildren. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 79105218 United States07/03/2020 06:17 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 70235713 United States07/03/2020 06:26 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | A country girl with ancestral skills who is sweet and honest and sincere will just shine versus fakes in a metropolis. Save yourself a lot of heartache. What is her mom like? If she devouted to her husband and still lovely, or full of acid and a harpy? She will on some level become her mom. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 70235713 United States07/03/2020 06:30 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | If you are 28 then you really shouldn't marry someone younger than 20. She will be too immature. A woman not married by age 25...well, something is off there.Some get jilted or lose their boyfriends during wartime, but generally if she put her education first, then that independence will likely rear its ugly head again. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 78544367 United States07/03/2020 07:07 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | OP, Quoting: Lupe_Ate_My_Taco's Get Yourself debt-free, find like minded Mig-Toe buddies in your town. I did and we are all retired with money and no debt. Everyday we BBQ, go fishing, hit the sports bars, hang out at the condo pool until the 18-24 year old women show up then its party time .... They only want your money perverted old fart. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 77745918 United States07/03/2020 07:10 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I can only speak for myself...so this isn't advice...but...I found I couldn't heal or move on until I made the decision that I wouldn't take her back even if she wanted to come back. Quoting: Mental Case That was my starting point to a better life. This is good right here. I gave my ex the chance, but he failed. Seeing as he slept with 2 other women and had a child by each (while we were married), I'm glad he didn't come back. Would never take him back now, we could never save money because he always spent it, I have a nice savings now and no debt. Btw, I was married for 25 years. |
