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I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79027314
07/06/2020 08:17 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77160062
07/06/2020 08:20 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
Dear Penthouse the story I am about to tell you is real.
MostlySunshine

User ID: 48426092
United States
07/06/2020 08:22 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
the real story:

Op yells upstairs ... "MOM! can you buy me some pizza tonight!?

MOM yells downstairs "NO! and stop plying with your little dick! because your scaring the dog again!"

the end
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79077555


1rof1
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone...ain't no borderline psychotic emotional outbursts either.

Some days you just have to create your own sunshine.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79092660
United Kingdom
07/06/2020 08:39 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
Dont know about out OP but I was a manager at a major Pizza chain like 30 years ago.

I had many customers. It became a problem because afterwards they would all turn up with their kids asking for the 50% off their order that I promised. Once or twice was ok, but everyday for months was a pass take and my staff starting asking questions.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 76071895
United States
07/06/2020 08:46 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
the real story:

Op yells upstairs ... "MOM! can you buy me some pizza tonight!?

MOM yells downstairs "NO! and stop plying with your little dick! because your scaring the dog again!"

the end
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79077555


Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78695890
Canada
07/06/2020 08:48 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
You are an amazing writer. Keep at it, millions will eagerly buy and read everything you write. Start making movies too, you are golden.

That's just my opinion but I am a creative genius.

And to think I read it here first, on GLP.

Amazing.
Texan
Libs are Liars...Woof!

User ID: 77878807
United States
07/06/2020 08:53 PM

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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
I was feeling lazy and craving pizza, (meaning I did not want to cook that chicken breast tonight!)
so I ordered a medium cheese pizza, well I got in the shower as they said 45 min.... in 10
minutes they were knocking, I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily
put on a set of swim trunks and answered the door, I figured I at least got something on, the
hottest 18yr old ever was at the door, black hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame,
maybe an B cup... her eyes were wide, very wide!

I was like OMG! I think she digs me, so I went back in and told her to wait in the living room,
well, to make it more weird she saw the remote and turned on the tv, put on some conspiracy doc on Netflix... I
heard that as I was frantically looking for her tip, I came back and gave her a 5 dollar tip and
said "thank you, I see you like gaming", as she was looking around at my 3 arcade machines which
are in the living room, she says I love videogames!

So I say "hey those machines are open for
business, they're on free play, stop by anytime you wanna play, so she hits start and begins a game of Rage of the Dragons, then she loses one round and stops and says she has to go, I say "ok, what's your name?"

She is looking at me very surprised and wide eyed... I say, "sorry I don't mean to be pretentious", she says "Amy..L..Long"... I say "Long?" Then she says "uh.. uh, sorry I mean, Hu... l" then she cracks up and starts laughing, and then I look down at my swim trunks and half my cock has found its way out of them and there it is... my veiny jaggerslayer is resting making me turn
all sorts of red! I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and I am there thinking
she is laughing at my penis, I covered up with a couch cushion, she passes by and as she is at the door she says, "I'm sorry don't think I was laughing at you... you have an amazing body, just put clothes on baby"... I say "just go!" she says, "Seriously! You are a VERY BIG MAN!"...

Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up?

I feel so embarrassed...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76907677


bert-facepalm
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 74641038
France
07/06/2020 10:41 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
OP dude, she was easily inviting you to hit it
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 73677488
United Kingdom
07/06/2020 10:45 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
WTF? I would be ordering more very fucking day.

The hell is wrong with you OP?

Are you shy or something?
The Wolf Man

User ID: 72781224
United States
07/06/2020 11:05 PM

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GG-story9
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 63155543
United States
07/06/2020 11:15 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
Pic, or it didn't happen.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79027314
07/07/2020 12:01 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
OP dude, she was easily inviting you to hit it
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 74641038


Yeah. How many chances does one have with a ripe 18yr old?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79120241
07/07/2020 09:53 AM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
OP dude, she was easily inviting you to hit it
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 74641038


Yeah. How many chances does one have with a ripe 18yr old?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79027314


It’s gets more and more difficulty by the day.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78154726
07/07/2020 02:26 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
OP dude, she was easily inviting you to hit it
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 74641038


Yeah. How many chances does one have with a ripe 18yr old?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79027314


It’s gets more and more difficulty by the day.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79120241


That’s why it’s better to sui younger, because once you reach a certain age, you already know they’re never gonna want you and you’ll just be a revolting sack of old blob to them
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79120756
07/07/2020 03:13 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
OP dude, she was easily inviting you to hit it
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 74641038


Yeah. How many chances does one have with a ripe 18yr old?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79027314


It’s gets more and more difficulty by the day.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79120241


That’s why it’s better to sui younger, because once you reach a certain age, you already know they’re never gonna want you and you’ll just be a revolting sack of old blob to them
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78154726


Lol suicide
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79044425
United States
07/07/2020 03:16 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
Last pizza guy cursed me out for ordering double anchovies and crushed raw garlic topping.....sez it stank up this car for a few days....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79027314
07/07/2020 07:09 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
Jaggerslayer..... I like that!

Kudos OP thumbs
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78442452
Australia
07/08/2020 01:35 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
I’m craving pizza now, all of a sudden
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79124436
07/08/2020 01:38 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
I’m craving pizza now, all of a sudden
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78442452


Addicted to that Alfredo Sauce Pizza huh? rolleyes
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78970129
Australia
07/08/2020 01:42 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
You need to pick a path adventure into her pants bro!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79101013
United States
07/08/2020 01:53 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
Pizza Gate is real. What the mass media said about it was fake news.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78365353
South Africa
07/08/2020 01:59 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
Priceless!

cruise
ET SF

User ID: 79096844
United States
07/08/2020 02:02 PM

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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
You have to choose your pizza carefully.
If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79124436
07/08/2020 02:33 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
You have to choose your pizza carefully.
 Quoting: ET SF


What’s your favorite type of pizza bro?

Toppings-wise and size, as well as crust type?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79103195
United States
07/08/2020 02:37 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
I was feeling lazy and craving pizza, (meaning I did not want to cook that chicken breast tonight!)
so I ordered a medium cheese pizza, well I got in the shower as they said 45 min.... in 10
minutes they were knocking, I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily
put on a set of swim trunks and answered the door, I figured I at least got something on, the
hottest 18yr old ever was at the door, black hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame,
maybe an B cup... her eyes were wide, very wide!

I was like OMG! I think she digs me, so I went back in and told her to wait in the living room,
well, to make it more weird she saw the remote and turned on the tv, put on some conspiracy doc on Netflix... I
heard that as I was frantically looking for her tip, I came back and gave her a 5 dollar tip and
said "thank you, I see you like gaming", as she was looking around at my 3 arcade machines which
are in the living room, she says I love videogames!

So I say "hey those machines are open for
business, they're on free play, stop by anytime you wanna play, so she hits start and begins a game of Rage of the Dragons, then she loses one round and stops and says she has to go, I say "ok, what's your name?"

She is looking at me very surprised and wide eyed... I say, "sorry I don't mean to be pretentious", she says "Amy..L..Long"... I say "Long?" Then she says "uh.. uh, sorry I mean, Hu... l" then she cracks up and starts laughing, and then I look down at my swim trunks and half my cock has found its way out of them and there it is... my veiny jaggerslayer is resting making me turn
all sorts of red! I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and I am there thinking
she is laughing at my penis, I covered up with a couch cushion, she passes by and as she is at the door she says, "I'm sorry don't think I was laughing at you... you have an amazing body, just put clothes on baby"... I say "just go!" she says, "Seriously! You are a VERY BIG MAN!"...

Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up?

I feel so embarrassed...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76907677


Then you woke up and thought wow what a cool dream.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79125083
07/08/2020 04:23 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
I was feeling lazy and craving pizza, (meaning I did not want to cook that chicken breast tonight!)
so I ordered a medium cheese pizza, well I got in the shower as they said 45 min.... in 10
minutes they were knocking, I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily
put on a set of swim trunks and answered the door, I figured I at least got something on, the
hottest 18yr old ever was at the door, black hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame,
maybe an B cup... her eyes were wide, very wide!

I was like OMG! I think she digs me, so I went back in and told her to wait in the living room,
well, to make it more weird she saw the remote and turned on the tv, put on some conspiracy doc on Netflix... I
heard that as I was frantically looking for her tip, I came back and gave her a 5 dollar tip and
said "thank you, I see you like gaming", as she was looking around at my 3 arcade machines which
are in the living room, she says I love videogames!

So I say "hey those machines are open for
business, they're on free play, stop by anytime you wanna play, so she hits start and begins a game of Rage of the Dragons, then she loses one round and stops and says she has to go, I say "ok, what's your name?"

She is looking at me very surprised and wide eyed... I say, "sorry I don't mean to be pretentious", she says "Amy..L..Long"... I say "Long?" Then she says "uh.. uh, sorry I mean, Hu... l" then she cracks up and starts laughing, and then I look down at my swim trunks and half my cock has found its way out of them and there it is... my veiny jaggerslayer is resting making me turn
all sorts of red! I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and I am there thinking
she is laughing at my penis, I covered up with a couch cushion, she passes by and as she is at the door she says, "I'm sorry don't think I was laughing at you... you have an amazing body, just put clothes on baby"... I say "just go!" she says, "Seriously! You are a VERY BIG MAN!"...

Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up?

I feel so embarrassed...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76907677


Then you woke up and thought wow what a cool dream.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79103195


Nah, I hate those dreams cuz I usually wake up right when it’s about to get really really good redface flip
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79131892
07/10/2020 02:38 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
Friday Night bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79106480
Canada
07/10/2020 02:48 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
nice incel larp
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78349802
United States
07/10/2020 02:50 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
the real story:

Op yells upstairs ... "MOM! can you buy me some pizza tonight!?

MOM yells downstairs "NO! and stop plying with your little dick! because your scaring the dog again!"

the end
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79077555


Ridiculous. I'm sorry I read that stupid story. I want my two minutes back.

Thought it would be about something about he saw them do to the food.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78349802
United States
07/10/2020 02:51 PM
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Re: I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!
Priceless!

cruise
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78365353


^
OP





GLP