I Will Never Order Pizza Again!!!

I guess you’re the idiot for being easily bamboozled like that

If Trinity doesn't ban ACs from making threads for at least 3 days after this gheyness, GLP is as good as dead.

Sounds like the script for a bad porno movie

100% correct.

I don't know man. I've heard and seen some weird shit over the years with fast food places and take out. I knew this dude back in the day who managed a local pizza place and one night he let in this 16 year old chick and banged the dogsnot out of her. Then when he broke it off she turned around and threatened to blackmail his ass and tell his wife and everyone else. She got free pizza for years after that.

I delivered a pizza to an insane old lady who answered the door in nothing but the American flag. She did this to every driver, every time. What was even weirder was we were a nicer italian restaurant and she was a famous classical guitar player and she'd come in and play. I waited tables too and she'd sit at the bar and try and flirt with us. Weird story but she ended up jumping off her high rise apartment buildings balcony.

Op is obviously gay.

This appeared in Penthouse Letters, August 1979.

Why would you buy pizza when it's so easy to make? That would be like buying spagetti.

Lol.. only a cheese pizza not a supreme with the lot..
Must be a crap pizza place to cook and deliver in ten minutes..

That’s copyright infringement bruh

Fauci brought me here

This is amazing content right here.

FFS mom called you up to bed hours ago fukwit. Go

You enjoyed the "Veiny Jaggerslayer" part best, eh?

What happened to contactless delivery? Also, no one just comes into someones house and messes with their television. Not buying it.

If you learn how to read more carefully and pay attention, OP actually says he invited her in by the door for a bit while he grabs the tip. She didn't physically mess with the tv. The control was more than likely near by and her, being young and rebellious, put it on Netflix

When you told her to please go, I knew you were fucking ghey!

I WILL NEVER WEAR A MASK AGAIN!!!

I was in the mood for some gourmet Italian and decided to order some from a local place that delivers gourmet entrees. So I place an order and they said it could take about an hour to arrive. So I went ahead and got some clothes ready, turned on the shower, because why not? They said an hour, right? So in about 15 minutes, while I was already in the shower, They were knocking!

I got out of the shower all wet and still having soap on... I hastily put on a set of swim trunks (I figured I'd at least put something on), put on my mask and answered the door... The hottest 18yr old EVER was at the door! black, silky hair, big gorgeous blue eyes and very small frame, busty B cup and the tightest, round bubble but you've ever seen! Her eyes were glossy and wide, I mean very wide and dreamy!

As I answer, she's kinda stunned while maintaining a coy stance as she begins blushing. I was thinking like "OMG! I think she digs me!" while I take the bags and items from her and tell her to wait while I set the stuff on the table and grab her tip.

So I come to the door and hand her a very nice tip. She is now looking at me very surprised and wide eyed. I say "is everything ok? That tip is all yours. I paid online." Now she kinda begins to softly chuckle under her breath and I'm beginning to think she thinks I'm cheap and gave a shitty tip. In that moment I just ask "hey, so what's your name?" She pauses and freezes on the spot, I say, "Sorry, I don't mean to be pretentious and overbearing" as she cuts me off and says "Jizz... Um... Giselle... Long", I say "LONG?" she replies, "uh, no, sorry, I mean, Lane" as she stumbles over her name with a confused look in her eyes. Then she cracks up and starts laughing. I'm like WTF? Then at that moment I realized that as I was rushing from the shower to the door, I had accidentally put on my mask as my swim trunks and my swim trunks over my face as my mask... Then I look down and half my cock has found it's way out of my N95 mask! and there it was, my veiny COVIDSLAYER is dormant and resting, making me turn all sorts of red!

I suddenly tell her to please leave, she composes herself and here I am there thinking she is now laughing at my penis! I covered up with a nearby plant as she's beginning to walk away from the door and down the steps. With one foot down on the first step she turns to me and says, "I'm sorry, don't think I was laughing at you... You have an AMAZING BODY, just put some clothes on baby"... I say, "Just go!" she then says, "Seriously! You are a VERY VERY BIG MAN!"...

Then she tells me what time she gets off work, so should I try going by there? or call her up?

I feel so embarrassed...

This one’s not an Android, right?

Do you know what an 18 yo girl can do for me?



Introduce me to her mother!

The 18yr old will get harder than you’ve ever been, willing to do everything and anything, softer, tighter skin, perkier and bouncier, less experience (“the more younger and pure a thing is the more satisfying it is to corrupt” theory) tight pie. She will make you feel younger and vigorous! Such a great feeling that a mom can’t give.

In other words, the mom will never compete! EVER!!!