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Humor Break - Post your best

 
Anonymous Coward
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08/30/2020 06:31 PM
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Humor Break - Post your best
chuckle
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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08/30/2020 06:32 PM
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[link to youtu.be (secure)]
Don Draper from Nantucket

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08/30/2020 06:39 PM

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What did the little black kid get for xmas?









My bike!
PLATA BITCHEZZZZZZ

UPGRADE UNAVAILABLE

The Rolling Stones said it best...

"What's confusing you is the nature of my game"
Anonymous Coward
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United States
08/30/2020 06:47 PM
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[link to youtu.be (secure)]

chuckle
 Quoting: Bodhi Sita


Anonymous Coward (OP)
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08/30/2020 06:53 PM
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chuckle
 Quoting: Bodhi Sita



 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 74354048


laugh
AkashicRecord®

User ID: 79251483
United States
08/30/2020 06:53 PM
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Why do white people go to Puerto Rican yard sales?






To get their stuff back!

chuckle
Sorry, that message is no longer in the database.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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08/30/2020 06:53 PM
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What did the little black kid get for xmas?









My bike!
 Quoting: Don Draper from Nantucket


I said funny - This is your best?

Le ~ Sigh
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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United States
08/30/2020 06:54 PM
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Why do white people go to Puerto Rican yard sales?






To get their stuff back!

chuckle
 Quoting: AkashicRecord®


Don't make it racist - if ya can't make fun of all people - please don't play.

Damn.

WTF
Jake

User ID: 77849624
United States
08/30/2020 06:54 PM
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Joe Biden is running for President

chuckle
Evil controls the ignorant... Climate change is a hoax so is the vax you have been fear-porned into compliance!

Definition Satan from the bible: Satan (Rev 12:7) exercising his subtle (indirect) impact on heathen governments (powers) – i.e. accomplishing his hellish agenda from "behind the scenes."
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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08/30/2020 06:57 PM
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Joe Biden is running for President

chuckle
 Quoting: Jake


You WIN!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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08/30/2020 06:58 PM
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:complexcarbs:
Anonymous Coward
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08/30/2020 06:59 PM
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What did the little black kid get for xmas?









My bike!
 Quoting: Don Draper from Nantucket


Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78230975
United States
08/30/2020 07:02 PM
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I checked into a hotel with my wife and kids and was greeted by the clerk checking everyone in and he quietly whispered to me , “Do you want your porn channel disabled”?
I said “No you sick fuck. I want the regular porn”.
MarPep

User ID: 79323800
United States
08/30/2020 07:03 PM

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_______________
They let me off with a warning and a couple of bullet holes.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79299000
United Kingdom
08/30/2020 07:08 PM
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Did you read your Irish bible where the Irish Noah collected two of every kind* to put aboard his Ark.










of Fish*
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79313537
United Kingdom
08/30/2020 07:09 PM
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It's a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo.

She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape.

He jumps up on the bars, holding on with one hand(and 2 feet), grunting and pounding his chest with the free hand.

He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow.

The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom, and play along.

She does and the gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.

Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall, she does, and the gorilla is just about to tear the bars down. "Now try lifting your dress up your thighs"

...this drives the gorilla absolutely crazy.

Then, quickly the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, slings her in with the gorilla and says, "Now, tell HIM you have a headache."


eekalert
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77640440
United States
08/30/2020 07:13 PM
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chuckle

My kind of thread! hf

Anonymous Coward (OP)
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United States
08/30/2020 07:14 PM
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I checked into a hotel with my wife and kids and was greeted by the clerk checking everyone in and he quietly whispered to me , “Do you want your porn channel disabled”?
I said “No you sick fuck. I want the regular porn”.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 78230975


chuckle
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79299000
United Kingdom
08/30/2020 07:15 PM
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We brits have “humour” breaks. WTF is humor? rant
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79323163
United States
08/30/2020 07:17 PM
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HAAA!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79285670
United States
08/30/2020 07:18 PM
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Re: Humor Break - Post your best
It's a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo.

She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape.

He jumps up on the bars, holding on with one hand(and 2 feet), grunting and pounding his chest with the free hand.

He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow.

The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom, and play along.

She does and the gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.

Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall, she does, and the gorilla is just about to tear the bars down. "Now try lifting your dress up your thighs"

...this drives the gorilla absolutely crazy.

Then, quickly the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, slings her in with the gorilla and says, "Now, tell HIM you have a headache."


eekalert
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79313537


What if someone shows up to save her?

[link to media.techeblog.com (secure)]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79313537
United Kingdom
08/30/2020 07:21 PM
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Re: Humor Break - Post your best
It's a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo.

She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape.

He jumps up on the bars, holding on with one hand(and 2 feet), grunting and pounding his chest with the free hand.

He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow.

The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom, and play along.

She does and the gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.

Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall, she does, and the gorilla is just about to tear the bars down. "Now try lifting your dress up your thighs"

...this drives the gorilla absolutely crazy.

Then, quickly the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, slings her in with the gorilla and says, "Now, tell HIM you have a headache."


eekalert
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79313537


What if someone shows up to save her?

[link to media.techeblog.com (secure)]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79285670


It's on like Donkey Kong!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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United States
08/30/2020 07:23 PM
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What did the little black kid get for xmas?









My bike!
 Quoting: Don Draper from Nantucket



 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 74354048


Oh SNap...

Fast forward to the now...

5a



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Anonymous Coward
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08/30/2020 07:23 PM
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We brits have “humour” breaks. WTF is humor? rant
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79299000


Anonymous Coward (OP)
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United States
08/30/2020 07:24 PM
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We brits have “humour” breaks. WTF is humor? rant
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79299000


hu·mor
/ˈ(h)yo͞omər/
Learn to pronounce
noun
1.
the quality of being amusing or comic, especially as expressed in literature or speech
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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08/30/2020 07:24 PM
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We brits have “humour” breaks. WTF is humor? rant
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79299000



 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 74354048


rockon

A second Winner!!!
LLernmusic

User ID: 55201025
United States
08/30/2020 07:25 PM

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I wanted to post the history of the f word but I don't want to upset you.
I find it to be a pretty funny video.
Okay to post or no?



Figured it was ok so went ahead and posted.
fff

Last Edited by LLerned on 08/30/2020 07:46 PM
Me playing some acoustic guitar and singing.
[link to youtu.be (secure)]
No ads not monetized.

In the about tab at YouTube... link to my other YouTube channel with songs from recording at home
Sol-tari

User ID: 78828773
Australia
08/30/2020 07:27 PM
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*Glitches May Occur. Consume(D) At Own Risk
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79204899
United States
08/30/2020 07:28 PM
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TWO ATOMS ARE STANDING ON THE CORNER, FIRST ATOM SAYS "I THINK I LOST AN ELECTRON" SECOND ATOM SAYS "ARE YOU SURE?" FIRST ATOM SAYS "I'M POSITIVE".
Jake

User ID: 77849624
United States
08/30/2020 07:28 PM
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Joe Biden is running for President

chuckle
 Quoting: Jake


You WIN!
 Quoting: Bodhi Sita


I wins da internet
Evil controls the ignorant... Climate change is a hoax so is the vax you have been fear-porned into compliance!

Definition Satan from the bible: Satan (Rev 12:7) exercising his subtle (indirect) impact on heathen governments (powers) – i.e. accomplishing his hellish agenda from "behind the scenes."
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 59310310
United States
08/30/2020 07:34 PM
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This is one of my favorites when I need a laugh. Everything is uphill and spinning for him and he just wants more beer, dammit! chuckle





GLP