Humor Break - Post your best

https://imgur.com/a/KhM76K7

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This was for you...quotes got weird...

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Guy says to the bartender, "I'll have a corona and two hurricanes." Bartender says , that'll be $20.20"

that guy is really dumb and a total slave to his 'masters' the democrat party..but he revels in his own stupidity...

very low information person.

eddie murphy was funny in the 80's but that shtick is old..

and hes not even on that level..

Poor thing... he will never do it again!

Ok... I don’t want to say it... I don’t want to say something mean...

https://imgur.com/a/wtmcEjK

A man takes a seat at a bar and waves at the bartender. “Gimme a shot of whiskey.”

Another man at the bar, notices his accent and asks, “You sound like a fellow Irishman. What county do you come from?” “I come from Kildare” the man replies. “Me too! What town in Kildare?” “Maynooth, born and raised,” the man says. “Me too! What a coincidence. What part of Maynooth?” “Near St. Mary’s, on Kilcock Rd.” “That’s amazing! Me too! Let me buy you a drink! Bartender, two whiskeys!” As the bartender pours two shots for the Irishmen, another bar patron comments on the amazing coincidence. “Nah,” says the bartender. “Just the Murphy twins drunk again.”

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."
The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up North?"
"Yes, I do."
"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"
"Yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out. "I have to admit that I did."
"And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"
Bob's face turned red and he said, "Yeah, sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?"
"She just died and left me everything."

I tried not to laugh and failed...

OMG -

(I need more laughing smilies for this thread)

Recent phenomenon on security cameras, balltards across the flat plane spotted outside at night facing east and running in place, come to find out they are trying to get a Earth spin started.