Humor Break - Post your best

James Woods in his best performance (at the end):


[link to youtu.be (secure)]

Two soldiers in a foxhole, one says he needs to pee and jumps out.

Two hours go by and the squaddie left in the foxhole is understandably worried.

Half hour later, the first soldier comes sauntering back in, not a care in the world.

Second soldier... 'Where the feck you been?'

First soldier... 'Well, I found this little nurse by the ruined hospital, she was feckin great. did her missionary style, doggy, titty f*cked her, bagpiped her. Fantastic time.'

Second soldier.... 'Did you get a blow job?'

First soldier... 'Nah, I couldn't find the head'.

Santa came down the chimney to find a lovely woman wearing a sexy nighty.
She say's "Santa would you stay with me tonight"?
Santa say's "Ho Ho Ho, I gotta go. Got a lot to deliver, don't you know".
She drops the straps on her gown and say's "Santa wont you please stay with me tonight"?
Santa say's "Ho Ho Ho, I gotta go. Got a lot to deliver, don't you know".
She drops the nightgown to the floor exposing her entire body. She says "Santa wont you please, please, please stay with me tonight"?

Santa says "Hey, hey, hey I gotta stay. Can't get up the chimney this way".