Its not that your rejected..

Matthew..

Chapter 21..

Vs 18-22..

Holy fuck, my funnel is all over the fucking place. It has been for 7 years now. And I'm like in and out and in and out and I can FEEL IT. It scrapes my head and my neck and my spine.

And the whirlpool straightens so slowly, like a skinny twisting tornado with an infinite top, but there's something between my eyes blocking it. Something between my eyes that runs all the way down into my toes.

And I figured out a long time ago that I'm not what is rejected, I just don't know how to stop reflexively rejecting what feels like existential taffy pulling.

It's not a matter of life or death. It's just pulsing tension that cannot find release.

Sorry. Sorry for airing the crazy. I just want to prove to myself that I can say all this out loud.

that's probably one of the few truths in the Bible

"If I can debunk God"..

Its all cool..

Right?..