20 Things to NEVER say to a person in Chronic Pain | |
3643297
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Relativity
(OP) User ID: 79788249 United States 01/19/2021 10:18 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Just be understanding and supportive. If they need something, they will ask. “In finding balance between lies and trust there will never be a better source than to speak your truth or make your peace some other way.” ~Sully Erna Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. For even the very wise cannot see all ends. -Gandalph "A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." - William Shakespeare |
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Relativity
(OP) User ID: 79788249 United States 01/19/2021 10:41 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | i don't think people care unless they have had similar experience Quoting: Anonymous Coward 73239894 Your right! “In finding balance between lies and trust there will never be a better source than to speak your truth or make your peace some other way.” ~Sully Erna Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. For even the very wise cannot see all ends. -Gandalph "A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." - William Shakespeare |
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WickedCoffee
User ID: 79555820 United States 01/19/2021 10:42 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | 1) You’re Just being Lazy Quoting: Relativity 2) Have you tried this (insert any type of medication) 3) Have your tried this (insert any organic method) 4) You need to change your diet and try this one. 5) My (friend, relative) etc has the same thing and you know what worked for them? 6) It’s all in your head. 7) Did you pray about it? Maybe you should talk to your pastor. 8) Maybe you should get up and go exercise . 9) If you focused on something else you would feel better. 10) Suck it up, everyone has pain. 11) You sure do complain a lot. 12) You are always in pain!!! 13) Have you seen a doctor? 14) Have you taken anything? 15) You must love the attention you get from being sick all the time. 16) You can’t be feeling bad again!!! 17) You ruin every special occasion because your sick. 18) You couldn’t possibly be in “that” much pain. 19) Why can’t “they” just fix you? 20) You don’t “look” handicapped/in pain! So why are most of these just not ok to say to people in chronic pain? You can pick out the ones that are accusatory and deduct that obviously any one who is in constant pain doesn’t exactly want to be accused of making it up, faking it or doing it for attention. Next, Many of these comments suggest that pain can not be THAT bad or THAT frequent and it can… it really can and it’s so unfortunate for both our loved ones and for us. Trust us we know you suffer because of us. |
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Alpacalips
User ID: 77694187 United States 01/19/2021 10:46 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Do you realize when people say this to you they are trying to help because they love you and care about you? I'm sure it was never their intention to annoy you. Most people have good hearts. Please remember that next time a comment someone makes trying to help you or comfort you. They mean well. I'm sorry you are in pain. Last Edited by Alpacalips on 01/19/2021 10:47 PM |
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Coldkidc
User ID: 79200871 United States 01/19/2021 10:48 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Why did you tell them in the first place if you don't want them to talk about it? Keep your suffering trap shut if you don't want suggestions because that's how people are wired & it's going to happen automatically if you bother to tell them. If you're telling them only because you want sympathy... Well then...you should know that the price for sympathy is allowing people to feel like they're trying to help. Otherwise you're just dumping your problems on them & that's not fair either. Coldkidc |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 79542291 United States 01/19/2021 10:50 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | i don't think people care unless they have had similar experience Quoting: Anonymous Coward 73239894 Exactly, I was there. If I gave up and stopped trying and listening to people who were just trying to help like OP, I would have never went to yet "another" physical therapist who finally fixed me after 15 years of debilitating, unexplainable pain. |
Relativity
(OP) User ID: 79788249 United States 01/19/2021 10:57 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Good sir, and you? “In finding balance between lies and trust there will never be a better source than to speak your truth or make your peace some other way.” ~Sully Erna Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. For even the very wise cannot see all ends. -Gandalph "A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." - William Shakespeare |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 73239894 United States 01/19/2021 10:59 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | i don't think people care unless they have had similar experience Quoting: Anonymous Coward 73239894 Your right! that's why people only ever learn if they suffer and have discomfort. they can't put themselves in another person's shoes. i don't tell people about my problems anymore 'cause they don't give a shit |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 73239894 United States 01/19/2021 11:00 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | i don't think people care unless they have had similar experience Quoting: Anonymous Coward 73239894 Exactly, I was there. If I gave up and stopped trying and listening to people who were just trying to help like OP, I would have never went to yet "another" physical therapist who finally fixed me after 15 years of debilitating, unexplainable pain. i've even had it with my own biological family. needless to say, i don't communicate with most of them.. |
Relativity
(OP) User ID: 79788249 United States 01/19/2021 11:00 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Why ever mention pain then if you don't want to hear any of those? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77691926 Only being a half a dick and kind of asking for real. I can only speak for myself. If I don't know someone very well, and cant do something, or go somewhere on a particular day that I usually might go. I might just mention it without too much info, as not to be rude, or lead them to think I am blowing them off. That there is a reason. “In finding balance between lies and trust there will never be a better source than to speak your truth or make your peace some other way.” ~Sully Erna Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. For even the very wise cannot see all ends. -Gandalph "A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." - William Shakespeare |
Wondering Mind
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 59310310 United States 01/19/2021 11:07 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Do you realize when people say this to you they are trying to help because they love you and care about you? I'm sure it was never their intention to annoy you. Most people have good hearts. Please remember that next time a comment someone makes trying to help you or comfort you. They mean well. Quoting: Alpacalips I'm sorry you are in pain. This. What else can someone say when they know they can't take away your pain? |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 78090287 United States 01/19/2021 11:07 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | "Do this exercise. I have terrible pain too. I have been in bed myself." As they do deep knee bends, wash their car, run around town for 12 hours. And the classics "Can I have your meds? What is wrong with you?" After knowing I have been degenerating 20 to 40 years, and get little meds 2 per day none at night, haha. |
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MaybeTrollingUAgain
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 79287281 United States 01/19/2021 11:21 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Why did you tell them in the first place if you don't want them to talk about it? Quoting: Coldkidc Keep your suffering trap shut if you don't want suggestions because that's how people are wired & it's going to happen automatically if you bother to tell them. If you're telling them only because you want sympathy... Well then...you should know that the price for sympathy is allowing people to feel like they're trying to help. Otherwise you're just dumping your problems on them & that's not fair either. This. And you never know if someone really does have an answer that can help, also not everyone in chronic pain want only sympathy, many want solutions. |
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Anonymous Girl
User ID: 1569103 Canada 01/19/2021 11:22 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | i don't think people care unless they have had similar experience Quoting: Anonymous Coward 73239894 Or they've seen a loved one suffer for years. "Unless it's mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it's a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love shouldn't be one of them.” ~Dreams for an Insomniac~ "Started with a spark, now we're on fire." [link to www.youtube.com (secure)] |
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