Joe Biden’s First Day: “how liberals learned to target Trump terror and love the bomb” –a short story based on fact

Introduction:

1-21-21 Today on only his first full day in office, Joke Biden won the nomination of “World Leader Most Likely To Nuke Their Own Nation.”
Here is the mostly peaceful, becoming true story of how liberals learned to target Trump terror and love the bomb.

Chapter One: Thermonuclear Thursday – Joke meets Joint Chiefs

In his day one morning meet with the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Joke Biden announced that he had just received actionable intelligence gathered from a John Brennan official press internet headline that confirmed that in the last two week alone, 75 million new domestic terrorists were now living within the America’s own borders. Biden ordered the Joint Chiefs to commence immediate tactical nuclear strikes to, quoting Brennan, ‘Root Out’ Trump Terror strong holds in 49 of 50 U.S. states, urging them, “Come on man! …this will be like nuclear surgery.” “I have a Biden plan to use the Republican voter registry to pinpoint nuke strike each vote terrorist target.” “These Trumpers, are suckers, they habitually only vote ONE time at only ONE local polling location and almost always on only ONE Election Day in all the days leading up to and even following the Election Day start of vote counting.“

Before the stupefied Joint Chiefs even had the chance to object in unison to Joke Biden’s proposed, Operation TNT - Tactical Nuke Trumpers, the crazed eyed Biden slammed a fist on the desk shouting, “I’M SICK AND TIRED OF SMART GUYS!” “They saw the steal even when we did it in the dark.” “I demand a ballistic thermonuclear missile launch on Trump terror today.” “I like simple.” “This is simple…it’s Not atomic rocket science!”

“My election results prove that Donald Trump won’t be able to counterstrike with an equal voter targeted attack.” “If Trump tries to you use voter address target acquisition like us, he’ll end up scatter nuking thousands of Biden voting sovereign citizens of China, Italy, UK, Russia, Mexico, Venezuela and more.” “Trump will be forced to fold or ignite global thermonuclear war.”

“Even if Trump dares to use Democrat voter rolls to tactically target my 81 million domestic voters, a full HALF of his Patriot missiles will hit nothing but phantoms. That's not even counting the 21,000 legally dead ghost voters in my Pennsylvania haunt –alone.”
(Note: most ghosts voted Hillary until Trump made her the ‘shoe-out’ candidate). “Even if Trump launches his entire Patriot arsenal, it will never, never be enough to outnumber my, signature voterClone calvary, my Bluebox ballotdroid army, and my USPS fleet of Mothershipping EVERDUMPERS!” “I, Joke Bieeedone, votrFraFukNuKinTrumpnTakOvALLDOMINION.” “zzz zzz.”


Chapter Two: The Faces of Game Day

Joke Biden jerked awake from his midday naptime to find himself sitting on a loveseat surrounded by a small group of high ranking uniformed officers, a few plain clothes business dressed science professor types, and one knockout slender dame in pressed skirt with clipboard in hand sporting sexy librarian glasses. And Oh, that long blonde hairrr… An aide waved nervously to pull Biden out of eye grope and uttered softly, “DoD,” to remind Sleepy Joke about this top brass Department of Defense National Security meeting, the second and only other item on the presidential docket for his first “Full day” in office.

As many are aware, White House press correspondents are spinning the official narrative that DOD officials have laid down security “roadblocks” to Barr the new administration’s access to certain military intelligence. Despite yesterday’s hogwashing direct rebuttal to each false allegation by the Pentagon, Democrat Karens continue to whine, “We just aren’t getting all the information that we need.”

Yet, what actually took place in today’s Highest Security Level War Department briefing within the Office of the President –where DOD eagle and White House mockingbird feathers were first ruffled and then cindered- is a far, far more crackhead sobering.

The true purpose of this power meet, which in addition to top War Generals and the “dame” i.e., the Senior Nuclear Missile Launch Technical Strategist, supported by the Pentagon’s Advanced Electronic Targeting Technician, chained by the wrist to a heavy looking briefcase, was in fact, the “Official Hand-off” of the nuclear football to the incoming administration’s alleged leader-elect, along with active launch codes.

Still a bit groggy from nappy time, a look of confusion came over Joke Biden’s face as he was presented with the infamous briefcase by the Advanced Electronics Tech. Then, looking at the serious faces trained on him, Biden put finger to head, squinted his eyes shut tight and had a slow hard THINK. At last he nodded alert saying, “OK, I got this. And wouldn’t you know, I was wondering when the Presidents Book of Secrets was going to come out on AudioNook.” “But hold on a minute, if it only has to play that one small secret book, why did they need this heavy damn laptop?”

You could have heard a pin drop in the room. Finally, that Lady stepped beside Joke, leaned in close and whispered the answer into the old man’s ear, hoping that he’d catch this professional life preserver before the captain went down with no ship, “nuclear football.”

For a long, long, very long, long, long time Joke Biden’s brain could only make sense of one sense: smell. Smmell hairrr, long, long, very long, long, long hairrr… Then a sound entered his darkness, and he recognized the repeated name being called. It was also his name. A sensation of touch registered on his shoulder and then commenced a great shaking that startled him full awake, eyes blinking into focus to reveal the mostly familiar semi-circle of faces that now appeared far more contorted than before.

Joke Biden scoured the vacuous cavern of his cranium seeking, spelunking ever deeper through seemingly endless echo chambers for a whisper, for the whisper word, whisper words, the words, the secret words that would rescue him from the missing, from the missing person picture on his pre-naptime milk. Must find secret words, the secret words, the secret book of words? No, not the book, the ball!, the whisper ball, no, the whiffleball, wif-fulball, fullball, Fullball!

As if an Epipen of adrenochrome had just been jabbed in Joke Biden’s poison stung heart, he jolted out of flatline and the Big Guy grin morphed across his face. China Joke was back in the Politic business! He had found the secret whisper words. He knew now how the words solve this presidential puzzle! And now Joke Biden was about to prove to all these Smart Guys and to her, whiff of her hairrr, her lonng hairrr, that he was bonifide PRESIDENTIAL.

Laying the President’s Secret AudioBook briefcase resolutely onto the desk, Woke Joke Biden turned key in lock, opened the briefcase clasp wide to expose its spy techie console control panel and sadly undersized display. He located the power switch and booted the Chief Executive Briefcase Laptop up -with no Smart Guy help required.

He then groped grabbed the gaming user code sheet out of the trembling hands of the now blood drained ashen faced Senior Nuclear Missile Launch Technician of the Pentagon. He put fingers to keypad, finished typing in the numerically stealth user names and passcodes for all team members present, and as the laptop’s display and digital voice commenced the 10 second countdown to kickoff of the next team round, the now PRESIDENTIAL Joke Biden crowed aloud the President’s secret words, “How about a nice game of Nuclear Football?”

by Thomas A Patriot 1-21-21