Bill Gates Disposable Flamethrower Vending Machine



The disposable flamethrower was actually wielded by Bill Gates through the entirety of his career, allowing him to become the world's ultimate leader through his superweapon. When Gates was finally defeated by the alliance of the penguins, he sent a disposable flamethrower back through time to kill himself.

The flamethrower was luckily destroyed by Gates using a conveniently placed factory, and he used the remains to design a new invention, known as the "disposable flamethrower", which he then wielded through the entirety of his career. When the alliance of the penguins finally infiltrated his secret base, they discovered what would become the first disposable flamethrower vending machine: a PC running on Windows 3.1, the best Windows OS to that date (which was 2015, by the way). It barely crashed at all, and dispensed flamethrowers many times faster than any Vista PC could hope to achieve.

The alliance of the penguins copied the source code for MS-Flamethrower, and recompiled it into GFlame, KBurn and XFD (XFD Flamethrower Dispenser). These three applications were quickly uploaded to various package repositories, and within thirty-eight seconds, every PC owner in the world was churning out disposable flamethrowers.

The penguins began to design a customised vending machine, running on a small Debian distribution, which used XFD, the most recursive application of the three. The vending machines spread all over the world, and became incredibly popular. Eventually, Bill Gates realised what the penguins had done, and attempted to sue XFD, which had obviously been stolen from MS-Flamethrower. However, as XFD did not crash, it was ruled that it could not have been stolen from a Microsoft product.