Company claims to be selling cannibalized meat made from “tissue samples” of celebrities

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Do you worship celebrities so much that you would be willing to eat them, if given the opportunity? Well now you can, as a company known as BiteLabs claims to have figured out a way to produce cannibalized meat made from their “tissue samples.”

According to the BiteLabs website, the company produces “fine artisanal salami from meat that has been lab-grown from celebrity tissue samples – as predicted by Winston Churchill back in 1931.

Churchill spoke about a future in which all of the world’s meat would be grown in labs, providing inspiration for BiteLabs to develop just that – except with a twist. Rather than just spawn chicken wings or breasts, BiteLabs decided to bring Hollywood to your dinner plate.

“Today, in-vitro meat production is close to becoming a reality, offering highly controllable meat production without the animal cruelty, waste, and environmental impacts of industrial farming,” the company says.

“But this process can offer so much more than replicas of beef and pork.”

It all starts with human myosatellite cells, which BiteLabs obtains via biopsy from the bodies of celebrities. These cells are a type of stem cell found it adult muscle tissue that repair and regrow damaged muscle.

“Isolating a sample of these cells provides a base that can grow into as much meat as required,” it says.

Celebrity tissue is mixed with artificial blood to produce salami