Domestic Men with Children how do you cope?

I don't have any good advice, but do hope things get better for you and your family.

family life is chaos

all 12 and under

you're in the glory days bro

love it while it lasts

your quiet serenity comes when the nest is empty

That's not life for me. Wife and I never fight, have a 7 month old and it's heaven on earth. So no it's not life, OP came with problem, and you're just being cock

Borderline personality disorder.

Divorce her amd try to get custody.

I did with my ex and got custody. Its hard, but was much harder with her searching fir problems

[link to youtu.be (secure)]

lol

How many children do you guys plan to have?

Screw spending 1 hour a month fighting with someone you live with over crap you can't change.

You're living in hell dood, you need to bounce. I would've bounced after the first nonsensical fight.

PRAYER, bro

Pray to God for your wife and kids to have peace and joy, in Jesus's name.

Pray every day.

Pray throughout the day

sing hallelujah and start each day by being grateful for the health and well-being of you and your family

read the Bible

repeat

you will notice a dramatic difference if you are persistent through the spiritual war

pray for everyone you have to deal with in the same way

Mine didn't listen to simple instructions. I told them last time up into the mountains , not to go off alone at night.


That was over 30 years ago, never did find the little buggers.

I take all the local boy scouts up camping in the area and still hope to find some clue as to what happened to them.

Maybe wolves finished raising them!!!

if your house is big enough, maybe you could rent out a room - perhaps to a senior with child rearing experience, or to a younger nanny type (screen them well)

barter housecleaning & child care for reduced rent

you'd make some money, reduce family stress, & be able to have some quiet time alone with your wife

maybe your mother-in-law? (OK, that was a joke)

Wow, cruddy, having raised two children and 2 divorces and having it all turn out okay...I don't really feel for you OP. Your children are a reflection of you, and your missus. Heal them or you will end up with psychotic crackheads because you need 'a safe space'. You should listen to more JP on being an adult.

that's the lousy chicken shit way out

marriage isn't about giving up and running away with your tail between your legs
over the petty bullshit of day to day human interactions and misunderstandings

keep your vows:
- forsaking all others
- for better or worse
- for richer or poorer
- in sickness and in health
~ ~note: mental illness is not exempted from this vow


we're all defective
no getting around that

marriage is a commitment, covenant, and sacred union
it's not all pie in the sky, valentines day every day

Fighting for an hour a month?

That's a really good marriage. One in a hundred these days.

Some churches arrange Date Night, where the kids are watched at the church so the parents can have a few hours alone together.

Couples retreat of some kind, maybe even better. But at least one evening could be a start.

I MADE IT 12 YEARS. SHE NOT ONCE RAN A SWEEPER, MOPPED THE FLOOR, BOUGHT KIDS THEIR CLOTHES. NEVER COOKED, I GOT HOME A1 AM BED BY 2:30, UP AT 7 AM TO GET THEM READY, PACK LUNCHES, DRESSED ETC.THEN FROM 8 AM TO 2 PM I WOULD DO SERVICE CALLS ORDER, MAKE SALES, THEN GO TO WORK, AND 12 HOURS A DAY PLUS MANDATORY SATURDAY WERE ON THE TABLE. I GAVE THEM SAT. BUT NOT TOO MANY 12's.

SHE WAS A SCREAMER, VIOLENT. RAPE AND INCEST I FINALLY FOUND OUT WILL DO THAT. IT ALLOWS DEMONS TO TAKE OVER.
HOW DO YOU COPE/ STAY CLOSE TO GOD. GO TO THE WELL DAILY AND OFTEN TO GET CHARGED UP WITH SPIRITUAL LOVE, GET KNOCKED DOWN GET RECHARGED. BUT I GOT ILL AND COULD NOT DO IT ANYMORE.

then hopefully you have loving parents to help. Yep I ruined a big part a important part of my life by being a flaming co-dependent.

Last Edited by Beetlepumprr on 04/07/2021 01:19 AM

OP you have 2 options:

1- sacrifice yourself for the sake of your kids, suck it up, keep your head down and let the wife and kids treat you like shit and zap any kind of goodness and vital energy you have for the rest of your life in hopes that at some point they'll thank you for all you did. Spoiler alert: they won't. Most children are more influenced by the mother than the father. And it's a guaranteed she's already berating you and bad mouthing you to your kids. They'll grow up despising you for being a spineless cuck.

2- run. Move, get a life somewhere and try to be in their lives somehow, don't forget birthdays and such. Eventually they'll realize what a psycho the mom is and either they'll warm up to you and will want you in their lives, or not. Either way, they are already being poisoned by mom so your chances of changing that is quite slim.

The difference is, with option 1 you'll sacrifice your life for nothing, they'll hate you anyways, but with option 2, you'll safeguard your sanity and any chance at happiness you have left and they'll hate you anyways. I think the least effort road is the more logic but hey, up to you mate.

Couples counseling. The wife and I were at each others throats over the children. Until we met the most awesome councilor. She helped us through it all, saved our marriage, and we raised better children because of it.

Buddy
I feel your pain
12 year old daughter
2 year old son
25 years of resentment between my wife and myself

Not sure there is a cure without each partner accepting that a change is needed

I could fill a wall of text after 25 some odd years but I'll save that for another drink

I'd recommend honesty but in my experience if both parties aren't honest that doesn't work so good

Good luck

My mom started smoking weed and my stepdad seems to appreciate her new frame of mind.

She's actually improved in a lot of ways over the years but the devil's lettuce really seems to have helped.

Awesome.

Wow on all the negativity here.
You don't just pack up and go when the going gets tough, you push through and fix it.

Most of the time the issue is communication.

Are you perfect? Is there something you're not giving her? Are you making her feel loved and wanted? Did you let her take the role of the man because you're not taking it?

How do you see her? Where is your focus? Is it on her flaws or on her strength? Why did you get together?

Close your eyes, see your best times in front of you, feel how it makes you feel, see the good things she did and does.. Give power to that feeling, appreciate her for the good she does, tell her those things.

Be the change.. You don't just simply get to walk out, unless you want to be a soft, whiny boy.

You find out what's wrong and be there for her.

When you kiss your "wife" do you taste her boyfriend's cock? You sure do, because a "real man" wouldn't put up with that crap.

OP knew his wife was crazy after the honeymoon ended, he had up to a decade to bounce on her but chose not to.

OP chose to endure his misery, he could end his misery and make his wife behave by not tolerating her desire for drama and strife. She acts out because she is bored and wants to be entertained.

OP probably likes it when his wife causes crap because he won't put his foot down and bring her into line for the sake of their kids.

OP's kids are going to see their parent's relationship as the gold standard for how men and women interact and if OP doesn't do something about it they're going to have relationships just like his.

All OP has to do is prove his wife is behaving in a unacceptable manner by not resorting to force because that will show her he's emotionally weak.

IF OP shows his wife he'll be fine, or better off without her. She'll suck up to him because she'll be afraid to lose her "happy" home.

OP needs to prove to his wife that she isn't worth all the hassle she brings with her, anything else and OP will be bitching about how his wife is complaining about her boyfriend to him.

I wouldn't put up with it. Why do you?

I want every man to question why they put up with constant angst from their wife?

A wife that obviously doesn't love them enough to show them that their man's mental health is more important than a badly written piece of real life relationship drama soap opera, for the purpose of providing a bad backdrop to their otherwise uninteresting lives?

Is pussy in middle aged life, really worth the hassle of juggling work with badly dramatized home life and the prospect of whining kids?

The ladies who believe in woman power are right!

It's your fault it's happening to you, IF you were really that unhappy you'd be out the door.

Men are suckers who don't have the balls to bounce and just sook to anyone who will listen to their whinging.

I think it's sad when your woman has bigger balls than you...

OP knew she was crazy within the first few days or weeks

not "after the honeymoon ended"

blowing up at kids is never OK

that needs to be dealt with

Just say no to it all.

no no no no na nah no no no

and no

dating and marriage these days is like submerging oneself in molten lava for decades on end.

one last no

better to burn alive with someone

than to burn alive alone

^THIS.