Losing It

I'm still thinking about this.... 

I'm remembering the time Oscar flew off her cage and landed near Henry, our small terrier dog.  He grabbed her in his mouth, but when I yelled at him he let her go.  I was so proud of him for overcoming his terrier instincts in that moment.  They are bred to hunt small prey and the instinct is strong in them.  He was such a sweet boy.  Oscar was completely fine and didn't seem to be injured at all...

There was another time (moving away from bird stories) when our rabbit was hanging out with us in the living room and Henry grabbed his stuffed animal toy (that looked a lot like the rabbit in size and coloring) and began shaking it while staring at the rabbit with a clear message (that seemed to contain some humor, but still...) "this is what I could do to you".... and the rabbit got pissed and charged him.... it stopped Henry in his tracks....  in that case I was impressed with the intensity of the rabbit's anger and the strength of his message to "stop that shit right now!"

funny, complex little animals....and so much tragedy surrounding them... I have stories, too, that weigh on me and the emotions come back in waves sometimes....

I look forward to reading more later...

I still have a lot to do around the property in the next few days. I purchased a rear tine tiller today and just finished assembling it. My intent is to till up a 20' x 30' garden area to grow corn, okra, sunflowers and so on. We have a covered garden using 8 4' diameter by 2' tall corrugated galvanized steel sewer pipe. We had great output from it over the winter.... Collard greens, Brussel Sprouts, Red cabbage, White cabbage , Cauliflower, Leeks, Carrots, Swiss shard, Beets and Celery. So much we had to give a bunch away.

In the early days when we first had Frenchy she flew away several times. One time down the street about 4 or 5 houses down and into a tree in their backyard. I was able to run after her, but had to resort to throwing things up into the tree to make her fly again. It was drizzling rain at the time so it was becoming more difficult for to maintain altitude. eventually she landed on the ground and I retrieved her. One time she flew up into a huge pine tree in our side yard, my wife could not coax her down, I tried spraying water, but she was too high up. My wife pulled up a chair and waited, continuously talking to her. The moment the Sun set Frenchy immediately flew down and landed on Rita's shoulder.

Elise was so much different that Felicia. Elise could easily memorize tunes and words and really seemed to have a lot of fun playing in almost any sense. Felicia was a tough nut to crack, she couldn't do any of that. Her claim to fame was anytime I ate anything she thought she might like she had to instantly fly to me and want to eat some right out of my mouth. When she is the right mood she will sit on my chest while I'm reclining and want me to rub her head and neck and also to take my finger and ever so lightly rub the skin around her eye. many times she could do that for almost an hour, but the minute I start carrying on a conversation with my wife she will have had enough and leave. It is amazing how well she can fly.... full speed through the house and stop on a dime. I can leave a door cracked a little more than 6" and she can fly full speed toward it, at exactly the correct instant she can tuck her wings in pass through the opening and start flying again without missing a beat.....

Okay I think I'm finished for tonight, crazy but I love to recall all the memories.

Im trying to save my strawberry plant :P

Lost

This thread? Yeah.... It's not the first time.

Oh my... I am gutted by your poem for Frenchy.  It gave me chills and the tears are still falling... 

My heart bows to yours in your love for that little bird...

I understand your ambivalence towards Felicia... that sort of thing is so, so hard.... so hard to understand and so hard to be open, in trust, after someone does something so unthinkable and violent... 

forgiving her is forgiving yourself

I'm giving a lot of focus to forgiveness lately and that's what I'm finding.  Gentleness towards self is what's needed most, I believe...

I'm sorry that happened to you, your wife and poor little Frenchy...

Thank You for your thoughts. There are moments when it all comes back, all of the memories that bring us pain.

There is a path we follow on this journey and rightfully so it should lead us through the gauntlet of forgiveness.

Take care

It seems the wounds we receive and carry are an integral part of the journey. There are many.


Wound

A wound have I that will not bleed
And with a hush would it supersede
The empty words it doesn’t need
So with a whimper I shall concede.

A wound indeed, known mostly by the pain.
It is disorienting, the effect I would not feign
Relief must wait until the return of the rain
To wash away all trace of this dark disdain.

A wound to heal, may it yet come to be
Strange that my age has seen me free
And yet has decreed my sight impaired
Must I shed the tears to have it repaired?

Wherein lies the man I always knew?
Without remorse it seems he withdrew
To an imaginary world hidden from view
So the sense of silence he could construe.

Return to me the clarity of my thought
Without which no dream can be sought
Without which no enemy may be fought
Without which no smiles will be brought.

Yes it seems the road narrows up ahead
Naturally so it must be, no reason to dread
May the sweet music of my dreams be found
And as a healing salve help my soul rebound.

Wow, beautiful... thanks...

By the way, I think it was around the same time (2004-ish?) that I discovered GLP. I only ever posted a handful of times until recently when I made an account... but over the years I've checked in every now and then and have always appreciated the atmosphere and information that can be found here...

I could ramble on about many experiences here, but let's just say I am somewhat addicted to GLP. If Trinity hadn't been such a hate monger for Trump I would probably still be a paying member.....Since Trump is no longer President.....Even though I think he is, that reason and Trump are now irrelevant. Who knows.....Hmmmm

I want to believe Trump is still President, but I just don't know...  I do think the election was stolen, and if it was, I guess that means he's the rightful president, but the question is -- is he actually acting as President in some capacity?

I'm uneasy about it all.... something seems completely 'off' in the way things are happening....  

Same