I went to college in Springfield, Mo about 300 years ago. Back in the olden days, it was a nice town, almost all white, little crime, easy going, a cross between midwestern and southern, lots of Baptist and Assembly of God churches.

Some of the white kids at the college were the biggest troublemakers, but nothing like ghetto yoofs. Mainly just loud parties and keggers. It was the home of Springfield Cashew Chicken. Sort of boring, but still, a really nice place.

Now, Springfield has crime problems. It has this lesbian butthead teacher. That makes me sad. It isn't the Springfield I used to know.