The Wytges Crystal Ball

I realize now that I cursed myself by daring to put myself on an equal or superior plane with the Chrystians when I invited them here with ulterior motives.

I'm stupid and I also suck as a witch because I'm a dump bitch and have never actually gotten out of my pampered privileged comfort zone my entire life.

The least Chrystian on earth could blow me away with his finger, and I'm starting to realize just how completely insignificant my existence is.

I'll just say this before I leave you to your troll thread. You'll know a tree by its fruit. Judging from your actions to hers, I'll take her over you any day. She's far closer to being a Christian than you ever will be.

Oh and you better pray she isn't really what she says she is. Otherwise, you are fucked.

It's true that as a witch I try to put on an outer facade of morality and nicety in order to hide when I'm on the prey for Chrystians.

But soon I find out that I had no idea what I was dealing with when my life begins to spiral out of control and society around me is going insane in collapse.

I honestly thought that the Chrystian aeon had ended. That's why I thought it would be safe to come out of hiding and be the true bitch I really am.

They said it was a new Satanic age and that God was dead. But now God has poured out this plague and everything seems cursed because it is.

I'm such a blind and dumb bitch, I thought that I was going to be a sort of witch evangelist but I didn't even contemplate that this entire society had been built on sea sand that was designed to put the Christians in a freemasonic trap but that it all had totally backfired. Of course, I can't see past the end of my own nose and I'm blind and stupid.

What I began to realize is that the lions hadn't bitten my bitch hyena head off just because they were relaxing.

You left out the garlic aioli ;)

I can't get into the details of what the hexes are because the ones I have used are family tradition. I'm hereditary, dagumit, just like I said I wuz, l. I am literally oathbound (literally, because that sounds more dramatic) not to speak of them to people outside of the family. Because I'm hereditary, dammit

I can tell you one reason I used them in the past was because certain individuals were threatening the lives of my children, which of course gives me the leverage I need to call on Satan's minions. It got to the point where they were being stalked and one was beaten up, as a message to me, and put in the hospital, actually that's all bullshit, I'm just making shit up again.

Threatening the lives of my family or myself is what it takes to hit my "on" button, and that's when I turn into Wonder Woman.

Suffice it to say, the situation was dealt with accordingly, I make a shit ton of this magic shit in my cauldron and barks nuggatory imprecations into the Box!

I believe in karma but not like most people think of karma, because that makes it seems like I've actually had an original thought and bring something to the table, which I don't. That being that there is some force which judges your actions and makes a moral decision to reward or punish you, because though I can't say I believe in objective morality because that would blow my basic metaphysical framework. Karma is simply the law of attraction at work, even though I don't believe in a logo-centric universe, which is a contradiction, giving back to you what you focus on and believe and put out into the world.

This type of Karma isn't morality based, because again, I'm an amoral hedonist and that would get really complicated really fast. It's part of the Universal force, like in Star Wars and I'm a Jedi, which just endlessly creates over and over, because that sounds believable on the surface level and I never have to deal with things like universal death of all living things. You put out bad, even though there's no such thing as bad, it brings that back to you. You put good out into the world, even though there's no such thing as good, it brings good back to you.

It balances the scales, even though I don't believe in any concept of "scales".

I don't hate God or the Bible or Christians, actually I do, I just can't say that in public because it blow my scam. I just believe differently, as in nothing. As for the 10 commandments, it would literally take pages to layout everything wrong there, because I don't happen to like God telling me there are "wrong" things, because I'm a fucking evil cunt. In summary I think they're hogwash, because what I think is all that matters. Written by primitive people in a primitive time, like Goddamn Moses and Ezra the Scribe, tee-hee.

And I'm sorry to say, for a religion that speaks of love, acceptance and forgiveness, my experience with Christianity has been the exact opposite, because I'm a Satanic bitch who's looking for any opportunity to accuse the elect of God just like my father Satan. Of course it's not all of them and I'm not judging all by the actions of a few, but actually I am of course because I can pretend that's my excuse to be the asinine monstrous bitch I am today..

But more often than not, I'm not seeing the love and tolerance and patience, because they believe in "wrong and right", which just pisses right in my wind, man.

Case in point. Go check out the thread that my resident troll made. There's your Christian love and tolerance in action, I'm gonna make a Satanic shit stew in my cauldron and kill that annoying mother fucker!

The closest I came to that was experimenting with mescaline back in the day when I was studying Shamanism, actually, though, I just flipped through a Shamanism book at the bookstore while sipping a soy latte. I have absolutely no concept of Shamanism, and everything I think I know about it is new age tripe. Many moons ago, because that sounds like sounds like something an Indian, even though they probably wouldn't today. But it adds to the rhetorical strength of my verbal diarrhea of the keyboard.

When I took mescaline, I told people that I was studying Shamanism and mystical trance. But I never actually saw anything and just got kind of tripped out for a while, which is basically all I was aiming for, but if I say that that doesn't sound mystical enough, so I justify it by saying I'm studying Shamanism, and people seem to think that's more mysterious n stuff, even though I'm just getting intoxicated off of a chemical plant compound that God didn't intend to be abuse, but since I'm an antinomian whore, who cares, right?

Given the gravity of the situation, and because of that one troll, I've decided that is is necessary to disclose my hereditary family hex at this time.

This never before seen hex is so darn powerful, it's just like way, way big power out there. I can't believe I'm having to do this, but in order to maintain my girl powers, I am forced to.

Well, I had to take a break to try to cast my hex on that dumb troll.

See, they try to get me into a witch's corner, but I remembered that episode of Wanda where she puts those runes in a sphere.

I was like, Bam! You go girl! That rawks. So that's what I did too, cause that seems kewler.

i came here to give you 3.50$

300 dollars.

Sometimes I try to do protection rituals after cleansing and banishing, but I know they're not gonna work. Oh, shore, they'll make me feel better for the moment and as long as I lie to myself.

I take these bottles and put a bunch of nails and broken glass and shit in there and then seal it, and I'm delusional enough to think that's meaningful even though in any other context I don't even believe in a moral guilding principle of the universe. But bottles, bottles with crap in them I believe.

But, anyway, I just ignore all that and sip herbal tea, because hell, let's face it, when you're as full of shit as I am, that's about all you've got left.

Yeah, I do lesser banishing ritual and all that crap, but it's not gonna work, because I'm a nihilist and there's no benevolent spirit that's actually going to listen to my fake invocations and attempted banishings.

So what then? Well it comes down to tea and bubble baths.

Besides, God already told me that Babylon won't be able to ward off the evil that is coming.

Isaiah 46

But evil will come on you
Which you will not be able to ward away;
And disaster will fall on you
For which you cannot atone;
And destruction of which you knew nothing
Will come on you suddenly.

Sumbuddy really mad.

Sumbuddy's carbalalalalala is failing miserably.

I don't even think my magical aroma therapy bubble mix is gonna do it anymore.

I'm still very much a child of the Craft, like a five year old girl. I was born into this. It's all I've ever known. I don't claim some mystical knowledge or know deep dark hidden secrets, but actually that's all I do claim, but I'm trying to make you empathize with my backstory. What I know, what we know, can be derived just from being aware of the natural world and natural law, unlike myself who has systematically been in a tract of denial of the most basic tenants of human experiential spiritually especially manifesting in my abject amorality

That may be one of the biggest things about being a witch, being amoral. Being immoral is important, but being amoral is a necessity. Observing Nature's Law and living within it is everything I claim to do but do just the opposite.


I'm on a path to learn and evolve, except I never do.. I'll never get it done, because change isn't within my modus operandi. I don't have all the answers, in fact, I don't my ass from elbow. if I did there would be no need for me to be here. I can't even get my magic tea to work anymore.

The thing is, is that the really thick loosh is only now found in the abject inverse.

Pikers are left scrambling for weak leftovers, wondering where the 'good ol gravy days' have gone.

Learn about the true etymology of the word 'troll'

Or don't.

;)

Did I mention that I've read a lot books? Now, granted, they're mostly pulp fiction mass market crap that has no redeeming value except to fill minds with mindrot, but I have indeed read a lot of books.

I say that because I need you to feel that I'm smart and a well versed woman of the world even though I'm the most stereotypical cookie cutter hive-minded product of the manufactured western post-modern era you could imagine. Every solitary thought in my worldview is delusional. Every last one. However, I have read all of the Harry Potter books and lean more toward Ravenclaw. So there's that.

The hilarious part about Pikers is is that they fail to properly understand the true meaning of the term 'Troll'.

They should learn their etymology first before they remotely attempt anything beyond their seasoning.

Otherwise, it almost always ends in the Piker's brutal frustration and regret.

:(

Being a hereditary witch isn't always easy.

First, it's a very task when you're as delusional as I am to really make sense of the world.

Then let's talk about the damn parents. Ok, they're all crazy. Generationally crazy, I might add. You think I wanted to be born in this mad house. Hell no. My crazy mom thought she was king Paimon. Well, isn't everyone and their dog just the king of hell these days.

But that's what happens. You get one or two generations that were as screwed up as the hippies and then the whole thing goes to seed. I never wanted to be a witch. It sucks, but I have oaths and that dumb shit and it's a process to work out of. With any luck everyone around me will commit suicide and then I'll be free to explore other options.

Crazy bastards. All of em.

Man this thread is quiet

Because I spoke up.

These pikers know instinctively when they're gonna be outfucked.

This look likes a fun place. I may come here more often :D

Yum. Needs more sauce. Moar Aioli please.

The fun part is flipping the script right before their gasping eyes in real time.

I've actually been following this thread from the beginning lol

I mean, what can you do? You can either fight it or play with it lol

There's a way to fight it and play with it at the same time.

It infuriates them.

It's hilarious from the proper distance.

It's a dreadful morning. My puter is all wacked out.

Everything was fine and then this blasted Windows update. And I was dumb enough to use a Bill Gates product and not use Linux. Why? Because my every motion in life is completely stereotypical. I'm so predictable, you can catch me on the 6 o'clock forecast. I wish I was like the Christians. They have I Am what I Am all written in their foreheads like Revelation 22:4 says and are exalted and chilling in the divine knowledge and I'm sitting here drinking bad cofee and can't even access my magic bubble bath books.