Chickened out on sneak stealing a flower earlier

I think I’m losing that ninja need, that rogue ability to be sneaky as a motherfucker. I mean you guys would shit yours elfs if you have seen the ninja moves I have pulled off before.

So I was walking down the street to a particular house that has really, really good cherry red grevillea flowers. There was a car parked in the grass right next to the grevillea bush, like 2 foot of space between. I have seen this before, I have swiftly walked between and cut a flower as I passed.

Didn’t care today. Left the good flowers and got 3 sub-par flowers and one small “moonlight” grevillea which is actually just as good as the cherry red ones.

Monster

Bloomicidal maniac

Lmao... a porch pirate

If you want to know why I’m sneaking around the neighbourhood stealing flowers, this is why:

[imgur] [link to i.imgur.com (secure)]

Our devil bird needs fun stuff. A sure way to bring magic into your life is to bring treats to something that’s captive.

I try to look like a hot tard girl just out chasing butterflies and holding flowers.



Oh I would never take a flower from someone in need

Kind of except they call them verandas here. No “porches” and people look at me funny if I say the word. They know what a pirate is when they see one, arrrrrrr!

You should make a special bag so you csn steal them in one swoop, like a magic trick. Faster than the eye can see.

Ahhh I wish! They are very delicate and full of nectar and so I have to be extremely gentle. Sometimes I suckle on them a bit and taste the nectar. The bird can only handle a couple flowers a day.

Why are you holding it captive???

I’m not. It’s here where I live, my partner has had it for over 20 years. It would die if it got outside. A huge part of my day everyday is making the bird happy. I give him a bath and he splashes around, then I blow dry him. I’ve never had a bird.

Plant your own flowers!

Can it swear?

We have but it’s not productive enough because the cat keeps peeing on it

I would teach it terrible stuff and then nust tell people it was a rescue bird when it dropped racist rants.

It says lots of stuff but no specific swear words.

Hello mate
Wanna cracker?
Cut it out!
Don’t!

Lol it will die if you leave for a day, can you handle that kind of commitment?

If your not comfortable being 'loud and proud' with what you do, then maybe you shouldn't do it.

Shouldn't steal from people’s yards.

I have an elderly cat with bad kidneys. I have to give it an IV for a few minutes each day to keep it hydrated. It's happy though.

I had a neighbor lady that would cut a couple flowers from my white roses I grew when I lived in the strange state of NJ.

There were hundreds of flowers, so I didn't mind. Just remember it was sort of odd. Even if I was in the yard. Didn't ask. That seemed odd.

Women are strange creatures that keep us entertained trying to figure them out I guess. :)

Yea I know so I didn’t do it. The other flowers I got are technically “public” flowers because they’re reaching out onto the sidewalk.

Awwwww

That’s very kind of you.

bragging on glp about cutting sex organs off plants!!!!!

Yea yea we want those things!

It’s for a bird so it’s a sacred activity

It wasn’t my truck.

It was a Kia Sorento. I sold it because no matter how much I had the seat professionally cleaned, I never felt the same about the car afterwards.

I buy up bulbs all fall and plant them in my alleyside so people can steal them. Im propegating every rose I have and moving the babies there as well. I actually enjoypeople stopping and staring at the flowers and don’t care if they get picked.

Did you have an accident in your butt area?

You are a wonderful person! Thank you!!!! Oh how I love roses! Too bad the bird doesn’t like them or I would be bringing a bouquet home.

:rosella: