Going to give up and take the clot shot

I’ve studied and studied the best I could on the pros and cons of the medical treatment.
I knew early on it wasn’t for me.
I have hashimotos and am functional due to synthroid and lots of supplements. I’ve been self doctoring for 18 of those years.
It isn’t perfect but I’ve managed to mostly stay away from doctors other then annually, by learning, self Supplementing and treating myself.
I’m mostly anti vaxx and very anti pharmaceuticals for the most part.
I don’t want a foreign Irreversible substance injected Into my veins. I know I won’t handle it well, I’m very sensitive.
My husband has been on the same page with me Although he’s Still largely blinded and and definitely not that passionate or educated about the topic.
I have spent countless hours researching, and being semi terrified of the mandates etc.
I’ve been staying positive for him though and mostly not sharing in the gloom and doom I see ahead.
I’d accepted that we’d have to quit our jobs when push comes to shove. Maybe sell the house and flee somewhere for a couple years until they come and force it on us by military or whatever.
I’m mentally preparing for life to be uncomfortable and different because this really is ,my line in the sand.
My husband however dismisses the seriousness and intention and result of taking it.
He’s not about to lose his job over it, he feels it’s his duty to protect and provide for us, and he’s willing to take it.
He doesn’t understand the big picture and that there will be no jobs to go too if everyones I’ll , dying , starving or whatever.
It’s causing tension and arguments and I’ve just realized I don’t want to stay here alone without him.
I’m going to drop this heated subject now and have told him, he gets it, I’m getting it.
I’ll likely become bed bound or seriously ill id magine.
I’ve had awful health issues, pre supplements.
I told him I hope he’ll enjoy caring for me in my new state,
( ill, bed bound, who knows )
I’m sure when push comes to shove I’ll tell him I love and forgive him and understand why he’s doing it, and I won’t hold him responsible for my state of being.
But will I Will be raging mad if he gets sick before I do.
Bet I won’t be able to contain my anger really.
I’ll love him regardless, and truly what is the point of fighting if I’ll be doing it alone ?
Therefore I’m preparing for the next phase of my life and will try to get organized before it all happens...
Heartbroken and devastated though.