That is the key difference I am using this time around. I'm actually psyching myself up to excitement about it, so I have a positive anticipation about whatever state I end up in during my practice. I'll get there, I know im already close. I have ap's during sleep still quite frequently, but I am not aware of it like I want to be. I used to be very practiced at controlling my dreams, especially in my youth, same with remote viewing. But due to religious upbringing had a lot of fear smashed on to me from me having these natural abilities, and some religious rituals that also severely blocked me from accessing those gifts until recently. I can however still see auras easily, and I get peoples underlying intentions. Wether I listen to that or not is another question. As I have a bad track record of forgiving and turning the other cheek way too often, especially for people do not deserve it and only end up hurting others again and again.

So I'm working on breaking those blocks that were placed on me by mortal men in frocks.