What should I do to Celebrate 20yrs of Cancer ?

It's hard to find the words to express every emotion possible all at once. Every day closer feels like another layer of impeding doom.

It was Nov. 5th, 2001 at 16yrs old I was diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer. An experience unlike any other. I am a 0.01% patient in the most simple explanation without going into paragraphs of details.

20yrs later, I still live with active Cancer. Never in remission, never eradicated, maxed out on I-131 Ionized Radiation treatments, & can't have anymore surgery it's too risk. I been coasting with attempted suppression via Thyriod hormone replacement but it never works. In fact it can't be fully eradicated because my body made it's own unique version unlike know types. Etc etc.
This November 5th, is my 20th year living with Cancer & I don't know how to celebrate???
It's so big nothing is good enough, I can't focus on anything to make plans, I want to celebrate with family & friends but it's not something ppl will take time for nor take effort to plan for me.

I'm stumped & in anxiety about what to do in celebration??
My only rules for my annual Canniversay are: "Fuck it, get wasted, spend all your money, spoil your self, do what you want, go let out some aggression with destruction or fireworks. Be extreme & enjoy! "

Suggestions??? Please?