There are no single use plastic bags in my house.

Those things are worth their weight in gold around here…. Literally.

See, I have this retarded fucking cat who refuses to shit in the box…

She shits next to it…. And every effing morning I place my hand in one of those bags.. reach down and grab a pile of cat shit, pull it into the bag and tie it off.

I always know when it is time to head to the store…. When I run out of bags.

It’s not that I want to do this…. But I also have a retarded dog that loves cat shit. She considers it a delicacy.

These are the special needs pets that are dropped off at the animal shelter, because they are effing retarded. I have four retarded dogs and three retarded cats…. And a retarded wife.

Pray for me….