Cookie Dough Can Explodes in Womans Vagina During Shoplifting!!!

It’s fucking cookie dough. During Christmas. Why would a security guard tackle anyone for shoplifting to begin with, let alone over fucking cookie dough.

:thatswonderful:

There is something wrong when an American woman has to steal cookie dough while her children are with her. What is even wrong is for people on GLP to be joking about this. Notice the number 6 candle and sprinkles, it was most likely for one of her children's birthday.

Lesson learned is that parents will do anything to make their children happy. This amazing act of courage and bravery to risk prison time to give her child a happy 6th birthday should inspire GLPers not make them LOL.

F all those above who LOL'd at this lady. She's a hero to her children, especially the 6 year old.

Your heroes are fucked in the head.

I don’t think you should be reading nor responding to this filth. It’s very unladylike.

Shots fired isle 7

How in the world did it fit?

That's how you make dough-nuts

Yeah there something wrong alright. Its WHERE IS THE DIMDOO DADDY ?
Where the bomma money and biden bucks gone ?
What no riots currently to overtly steal shit ?
Fuck your pathetic sympathy and fuck this DIMDOO bitch .

This woman has my respect.

As I started to laugh at the many jokes of this thread I found myself falling into sadness for the compassionless authors and realized this woman is my hero, not you dumb boiuumers.

I wish there was a giant vagina for stuffing useless boiuumers into.

mmm chocolate chimp cookies.

Very sad to read about a desperate woman brutally humiliated while stealing cookie dough, sprinkles, and a birthday candle for her kids.

There's more than one good joke in these somewhere but, as dumb as she is, my heart goes out to that woman.

She had more love for her kids than all the boiuumers on glp parents combined.

How many of you can say mom would take a jumbo can of cinnamon rolls for ya ass?

Did you miss the obvious satire in the story?

eeew

but

She only taught her children to steal via vaginal insertion. This is not about love. She could have asked people for money in front of Wal-Mart, and they would have given to her. It is beyond gross and beast-like to put the merchandise in her cooter.

I suspect MacGyver is the store manager. It's his old 'Exploding-Cookie-Dough-in-the-Vagina' trick.

One of those nasty Pussy Riot skanks, in Russia, shoved an entire frozen chicken up her snatch, right in the grocery store, and then posted it online.

It also doubles as a party tent and easy bake oven. She rents it out for house parties. The kids were waiting to get in and have birthday cake and cookies.

Is this a new anti shoplifting measure?

Poor lady. Imagine being do poor you can't afford a birthday cake for your kids and resort to this. Don't ever question a mother's love for her kids. LOL!

She's got three kids. I guarantee she's on welfare, food stamps and she's getting another 900. a month in the child tax care credit giveaway from the commies in DC. But, yeah, you go ahead and be a sucker and make out to be a sad hero. The bitch is teaching her spawn to be just like her.

You know its fake because they stopped a shoplifter.

Pretty funny though.

Round these parts it's quite common for women to steal whole chickens using the same M.O.
Liquor stores suffer huge losses owing to gaping vaginas.
Most have had upward of 6 kids, so they can fit just about anything up there.
Pity there aren't more intra-vaginal explosions...

yes, thats what a mandigo can do.
i like my kitty tight...not like a quitter sock

Going to whip another batch of

Well if you mix brake fluid and chlorine initialy you don't see a reaction. But if you put both substances in a coke bottle, after 1 minute it ignites like a hell with a flame 3 meters high.

Sounds like she was trying to have a birthday party, maybe for one of the kids.

This is awful.

Fake news.

:horror: