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Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 80695649
United States
01/18/2022 11:23 AM
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Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
I'm sure she was triple vaxed as she was always very liberal. My question is, I want nothing to do with my ex after everything he pulled late in our marriage, and I refuse to attend the funeral because I would have to see him. Plus, it's not my place to take time/attention away from the grieving family by being there. Frankly, we were not close to his family because my ex had difficulty maintaining any lasting relationship given his NPD. What is the proper etiquette here - send a card, send flowers, ignore it like I hadn't heard about it from my kids?
Texan Buckeye

User ID: 22937658
United States
01/18/2022 11:28 AM

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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
I'm sure she was triple vaxed as she was always very liberal. My question is, I want nothing to do with my ex after everything he pulled late in our marriage, and I refuse to attend the funeral because I would have to see him. Plus, it's not my place to take time/attention away from the grieving family by being there. Frankly, we were not close to his family because my ex had difficulty maintaining any lasting relationship given his NPD. What is the proper etiquette here - send a card, send flowers, ignore it like I hadn't heard about it from my kids?
 Quoting: GA Girl


I would send a card with a short note or you can send a message through the funeral home/obituary. I've done both as we've lived too far away to attend.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78054348
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01/18/2022 11:31 AM
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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
I'm sure she was triple vaxed as she was always very liberal. My question is, I want nothing to do with my ex after everything he pulled late in our marriage, and I refuse to attend the funeral because I would have to see him. Plus, it's not my place to take time/attention away from the grieving family by being there. Frankly, we were not close to his family because my ex had difficulty maintaining any lasting relationship given his NPD. What is the proper etiquette here - send a card, send flowers, ignore it like I hadn't heard about it from my kids?
 Quoting: GA Girl


I would send a card with a short note or you can send a message through the funeral home/obituary. I've done both as we've lived too far away to attend.
 Quoting: Texan Buckeye


Agree.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79541984
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01/18/2022 11:31 AM
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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
Ignore it and move on.

When people are no good for you anymore... just cut them off like a dead tree limb... along with anyone else attached/connected to them.

Life is too short to waste on worthless people.

What part of GA are u in ?

Buford here.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 80073096
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01/18/2022 11:32 AM
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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
I would send a small vase of flowers to the service and a generic card to their home. The dead should be respected. Your kindness will return to you through eternal light. Love and let go.

I have found out someone else I know has died..it's becoming a pattern of every-other week. The practice of kindness seems to be the best thing to walk away with in the human heart/soul.

I am sorry for your loss.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 80695649
United States
01/18/2022 11:36 AM
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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
I'm sure she was triple vaxed as she was always very liberal. My question is, I want nothing to do with my ex after everything he pulled late in our marriage, and I refuse to attend the funeral because I would have to see him. Plus, it's not my place to take time/attention away from the grieving family by being there. Frankly, we were not close to his family because my ex had difficulty maintaining any lasting relationship given his NPD. What is the proper etiquette here - send a card, send flowers, ignore it like I hadn't heard about it from my kids?
 Quoting: GA Girl


I would send a card with a short note or you can send a message through the funeral home/obituary. I've done both as we've lived too far away to attend.
 Quoting: Texan Buckeye


They are over 1000 miles from here and I couldn't get off from work for extended family, anyway, even if I wanted to go (which I don't). If she had been a great friend I would go despite the ex, & just take PTO. But I think I only saw her maybe 10 times over the 3 decades we were married because they were hundreds of miles from us & the ex didn't much care for them. I do feel for the kids, and care about what they are going through, even though they are both now in their 30s. That's still young to lose a parent. I actually reached out to my niece this morning as we have kept in touch after my divorce and think that maybe sending a card is the way to go, perhaps with a donation to whatever charity they choose.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 80417337
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01/18/2022 11:38 AM
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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
I would send a small vase of flowers to the service and a generic card to their home. The dead should be respected. Your kindness will return to you through eternal light. Love and let go.

I have found out someone else I know has died..it's becoming a pattern of every-other week. The practice of kindness seems to be the best thing to walk away with in the human heart/soul.

I am sorry for your loss.
 Quoting: pool


if they was vaxxed they aint human
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 80695649
United States
01/18/2022 11:38 AM
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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
I would send a small vase of flowers to the service and a generic card to their home. The dead should be respected. Your kindness will return to you through eternal light. Love and let go.

I have found out someone else I know has died..it's becoming a pattern of every-other week. The practice of kindness seems to be the best thing to walk away with in the human heart/soul.

I am sorry for your loss.
 Quoting: pool


I agree 100% with that. Now is not the time for pettiness, but I have to walk carefully because I don't want to step on any toes. But the dead deserve respect.
Anonymous Coward
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01/18/2022 11:40 AM
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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
Flowers and a card. Nothing more
Avenger1

User ID: 79174553
United States
01/18/2022 11:41 AM

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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
I would send a small vase of flowers to the service and a generic card to their home. The dead should be respected. Your kindness will return to you through eternal light. Love and let go.

I have found out someone else I know has died..it's becoming a pattern of every-other week. The practice of kindness seems to be the best thing to walk away with in the human heart/soul.

I am sorry for your loss.
 Quoting: pool


Very nice, pool. This is good advice.
"Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes"

"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear"
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 80695649
United States
01/18/2022 11:43 AM
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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
Ignore it and move on.

When people are no good for you anymore... just cut them off like a dead tree limb... along with anyone else attached/connected to them.

Life is too short to waste on worthless people.

What part of GA are u in ?

Buford here.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79541984


That seems a little cold for my taste. I have no problem cutting out the ex as he certainly deserves it and then some, but I feel I should show some emotional support for my niece and nephew in their time of need. They are young to lose a parent. I just wasn't sure how much was proper given the circumstances.

I'm up in the NE GA Mountain area.
Reality Czar dodger007

User ID: 81769484
United States
01/18/2022 11:48 AM

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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
I'm sure she was triple vaxed as she was always very liberal. My question is, I want nothing to do with my ex after everything he pulled late in our marriage, and I refuse to attend the funeral because I would have to see him. Plus, it's not my place to take time/attention away from the grieving family by being there. Frankly, we were not close to his family because my ex had difficulty maintaining any lasting relationship given his NPD. What is the proper etiquette here - send a card, send flowers, ignore it like I hadn't heard about it from my kids?
 Quoting: GA Girl


Sympathy card to her parents and family, and flowers
Stay classy
You can count on America to do the right thing after exhausting every other alternative."
Winston Churchill
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 70279414
United States
01/18/2022 11:50 AM
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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
I'm sure she was triple vaxed as she was always very liberal. My question is, I want nothing to do with my ex after everything he pulled late in our marriage, and I refuse to attend the funeral because I would have to see him. Plus, it's not my place to take time/attention away from the grieving family by being there. Frankly, we were not close to his family because my ex had difficulty maintaining any lasting relationship given his NPD. What is the proper etiquette here - send a card, send flowers, ignore it like I hadn't heard about it from my kids?
 Quoting: GA Girl



Ignore it, if they're blood relative to the kids- be there emotionally for the kids.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77506160
United States
01/18/2022 11:53 AM
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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
Ignore it and move on.

When people are no good for you anymore... just cut them off like a dead tree limb... along with anyone else attached/connected to them.

Life is too short to waste on worthless people.

What part of GA are u in ?

Buford here.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79541984


That seems a little cold for my taste. I have no problem cutting out the ex as he certainly deserves it and then some, but I feel I should show some emotional support for my niece and nephew in their time of need. They are young to lose a parent. I just wasn't sure how much was proper given the circumstances.

I'm up in the NE GA Mountain area.
 Quoting: GA Girl


Sissy? Is that you. Clayton right?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77506160
United States
01/18/2022 11:53 AM
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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
Ignore it and move on.

When people are no good for you anymore... just cut them off like a dead tree limb... along with anyone else attached/connected to them.

Life is too short to waste on worthless people.

What part of GA are u in ?

Buford here.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79541984


That seems a little cold for my taste. I have no problem cutting out the ex as he certainly deserves it and then some, but I feel I should show some emotional support for my niece and nephew in their time of need. They are young to lose a parent. I just wasn't sure how much was proper given the circumstances.

I'm up in the NE GA Mountain area.
 Quoting: GA Girl


Sissy? Is that you. Clayton right?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 80695649
United States
01/18/2022 11:55 AM
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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
Ignore it and move on.

When people are no good for you anymore... just cut them off like a dead tree limb... along with anyone else attached/connected to them.

Life is too short to waste on worthless people.

What part of GA are u in ?

Buford here.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79541984


That seems a little cold for my taste. I have no problem cutting out the ex as he certainly deserves it and then some, but I feel I should show some emotional support for my niece and nephew in their time of need. They are young to lose a parent. I just wasn't sure how much was proper given the circumstances.

I'm up in the NE GA Mountain area.
 Quoting: GA Girl


Sissy? Is that you. Clayton right?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 77506160


No. I'm west of that. Between Helen and Lake Burton.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77142673
United States
01/18/2022 11:56 AM
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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
ignore..because you'll have to attend all of them


who has time for that
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 81660764
United States
01/18/2022 11:58 AM
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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
I'm sure she was triple vaxed as she was always very liberal. My question is, I want nothing to do with my ex after everything he pulled late in our marriage, and I refuse to attend the funeral because I would have to see him. Plus, it's not my place to take time/attention away from the grieving family by being there. Frankly, we were not close to his family because my ex had difficulty maintaining any lasting relationship given his NPD. What is the proper etiquette here - send a card, send flowers, ignore it like I hadn't heard about it from my kids?
 Quoting: GA Girl


Flowers, and card.

Be sincere and genuine. Don’t exact bitterness on this occasion. It’s not about you.

You’re free, you’ve moved on but still there is a family who is broken-hearted.

Surely you can offer sympathy and compassion.
Panzer General

User ID: 81776551
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01/18/2022 11:59 AM
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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
Flowers with a note of sympathy. Your niece and nephew will appreciate it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 77139465
United States
01/18/2022 11:59 AM
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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
April?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 71851949
United States
01/18/2022 12:00 PM
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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
Card. They will have plenty of smothering from their local friends and family. Nothing else is required from you.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 80695649
United States
01/18/2022 12:11 PM
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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
Thanks everyone for the advice. I appreciate you. red_heart
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 81889618
01/18/2022 12:13 PM
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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
Ignore it and move on.

When people are no good for you anymore... just cut them off like a dead tree limb... along with anyone else attached/connected to them.

Life is too short to waste on worthless people.

What part of GA are u in ?

Buford here.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79541984


I used to go to buford frequently. Flew into gainesville airport
..chicken feathers everywhere
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 81889618
01/18/2022 12:15 PM
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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
Thanks everyone for the advice. I appreciate you. red_heart
 Quoting: GA Girl


How about a small flower arrangement for the service and personal card to niece and nephew
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 80367121
United States
01/18/2022 12:17 PM
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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
A card will suffice, trust me - the flowers get overwhelming.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78551315
United States
01/18/2022 12:17 PM
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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
I'd send a short sympathy note.

I probably wouldn't be able to resist adding a line at the end that said, "I still can't believe <insert deceased name here> decided to take an experimental genetic therapy for something that 99.8%+ of people survive. I read about so many mRNA vaccine deaths and injuries on a daily basis now, it's very sad how many people were conned into participating in these medical trials".

chuckle
Fluffy Pancakes

User ID: 35926058
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01/18/2022 12:18 PM

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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
Card and flowers. That's the decent thing to do.

I've decided that I will not attend any funerals of vaxxed people. Being near the vaxxed for any length of time makes my family sick. I work a couple times a month with a guy who's vaxxed. About half the time, my husband gets sick the day after I work with him.

They've made the world toxic.
Things are bad enough, there is no need to make anything up. ~Fluffy

"Never interrupt an enemy in the process of destroying himself."

Quercitin and zinc...Get it. Take it.

Visit howbad.info...If you took the shot, for sure.
InfiniTea

User ID: 80837655
Spain
01/18/2022 12:20 PM
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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
You can call a local florist and have them anonymously send flowers and card to the service. (Go local though, if at all. The big floral websites tend to take too much of a cut from the florists that make arrangements, so the local person still makes the arrangement, but then has to cut corners to afford the items used.)

You don’t have to make it known it was done by you. All of this can be anonymous to the recipient.
Agent 99

User ID: 77082640
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01/18/2022 12:28 PM

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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
Sorry for your loss.

I understand avoiding the ex-NPD-drama. Do what makes you feel good, you deserve some good energy and peace.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 80198226
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01/18/2022 12:30 PM
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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
I'm sure she was triple vaxed as she was always very liberal. My question is, I want nothing to do with my ex after everything he pulled late in our marriage, and I refuse to attend the funeral because I would have to see him. Plus, it's not my place to take time/attention away from the grieving family by being there. Frankly, we were not close to his family because my ex had difficulty maintaining any lasting relationship given his NPD. What is the proper etiquette here - send a card, send flowers, ignore it like I hadn't heard about it from my kids?
 Quoting: GA Girl


I would send a card with a short note or you can send a message through the funeral home/obituary. I've done both as we've lived too far away to attend.
 Quoting: Texan Buckeye


This.
Plant Goddess

User ID: 79736903
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01/18/2022 12:30 PM

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Re: Ex Sister-in-Law just died of a heart attack...
If you weren't close even when she was your inlaw then just post the usual "Sorry for your loss" on the funeral home website board and be done with it. If you wouldn't have sent flowers or a card when she was alive you are under no obligation to do so now.





GLP