I'm going to admit something about myself, I rarely talk about myself. This has to do with money. $$

I used to be really interested in money. St an early age. I didn't even have much of a goal in mind. I was good at making money, I invested in stocks, I wasn't even 21 and I was day trading with instant quotes. Even before that I told family what to invest in. I was hot, I was up big time. And then I stopped caring about money, it didn't excite me, it felt wrong.

I realized that the pursuit of money was a challenge, and I enjoyed challenges, but I didn't want to deal with the rewards. I just enjoyed the challenge. I was like Brewster's millions.

Then tragedy and other events and I was poor but getting by, and as long as I could get by, I feel like I was happy. I just wanted to be slightly ahead of going broke. It felt right, it still feels right.

Everyone is holding onto wealth, hoarding it, protecting it, and I'm the only one trying to get rid of it.


But it does take a toll, it's draining. It would be so much easier if I were rich. If I had my own house. If I had a good car that was paid off. I have anxious thoughts about being able to stay here and support.



Yet I know if I could go back, I still wouldn't change almost anything, I would still lose hundreds of thousands of dollars because I didn't care as soon as I had hundreds of thousands of dollars.


Now I just want to find a job to provide support and get by. I figure I can do remote computer stuff. Having a hard time getting a job though, this whole world has turned upside down.

I recommend to anyone wealthy to give to charity, give to people, just get rid of it as long as you can still maintain your family. You can't take it with you. I know there are people much worse off, help them if you can.

I know one thing, money can't buy happiness. It might buy you thrills, but they will be empty. You couldn't buy my level of contentment with my family with a trillion dollars. It's priceless. We just want to get by and enjoy our little corner of the world.