Racoon man

Wild raccoons are very trainable with food. At one point, I had one coming into my house to eat scraps. He was very courteous. I stopped feeding when I walked out one night and there were over 20 of them in my yard and they didn't run away.

Notice the size of them.. they are getting pretty fat eating those free hotdogs and crackers all the time.
Go to the supermarket, look at the EBT card shoppers.
Notice anything?

He has made welfare recipients out of those normally self reliant varmints. They used to scavenge and hunt for their food. Now they just run to old easy touch. He's the Sugar Daddy Uncle Sam to those bum ass coons.

Oh stfu mary screech. They are merely fatter than they would be and if they lost wild skills they would no longer show up.
Sphincters like you are annoying and not real.

rabies is non existent, except in bats.....fact!

besides that, I think coons love to steal and swarm......

just my opine...

With them crawling all over him, it's just a matter of time that he picks up some raccoon roundworm eggs (from feces carried on their feet), and dies a horribly painful death with the roundworms in all of his organs including his brain, with tiny worms crawling out from under his eyelids even.