For anyone who has suffered longterm abuse from narcissists I just read something truly simple that can help you heal

Sounds about right.

I wish I knew this when I was born, would have saved me 40 years of hell!

that is very straightforward. explains issues with apparently narcissistic siblings who see things as competition....finances, intelligence, relationships, etc.

it is indeed impossible to have a relationship with any narcissist.

pretty sad when its immediate blood relation family members.

Ah yes, the great race for infamy!

(((hugs)))

For anyone who knows the horror they put you through.

yes, same for many people. thx for your post.

What’s the cure for them though?

Exactly. When you realize it's a competition you can shut them down fast. You're no longer trying to have a relationship with them. You can instantly shut it down!

Them realizing they're assholes and genuinely wanting to change. That's the thing though, if they see themselves as above everyone they won't want to change. The best way to fix them is to deny them of abusing you.

They have to decide on their own time. In the meantime you're risking the chance they'll abuse you because they do it to make themselves feel better.

They can only change after they suffer enough consequences and even then there's no guarantee.

You didn't make them who they are and you can't be responsible for their actions.

Smile toots.

That indeed made me smile. Thanks :)

loving relationships should never be competitive....it makes zero sense.

but what's in the op explains people who are competitive and resent or are jealous of you for whatever reason(s). often it's about money. what's money without happiness and love? nothing. it's stupid to be jealous of others for any reason because you do not know their struggles and with less you may be happier. never understood the mindset or the competition stuff.

guess they cannot turn it off? what makes people like that?

couple it with socio/psychopathy and they won't gaf if you cut them off. it's all transactional to them and when you give them no supply they have no use for you in their life.

can someone turn into a narcissist as an adult?

Getting them out of your life. Knowing how to identify competition (attacks and mental abuse) vs love (genuine, mutual benefit, helping each other). Finding love, knowing that narcissists are always on the lookout for people who they can emotionally destroy.

Add in anyone related to or in a relationship with a borderline Personality Disorder. They’ve got the narcissist trait built in too. They are miserable to be around for any length of time. Small doses is all you can take. Meanwhile if they’re related to you you have to deal with them or abandon them, it’s tough!

are some of them just hurt children on the inside?

can someone be a narcissist just toward some and not others?

Oh they’re some of the worst. And they LOVE to gaslight too.

Yes. The way to create a narcissist is extremely emotional abuse. I have/ had been starting to become one. I always knew who I was. I always fought it off. I finally found the solution.

I spent 10 years in a limbo between abused victim and narcissist because I endured so much abuse from so many narcissists.

Let me be clear. You can feel sorry for the abused me. But i logically understand hating narcissist me. Nobody deserves to be shit on.

The whole time I was stuck between victim and part time narcissist, I knew part of me was dying. And I knew I had to find my way back.

A narcissist's job which succeeded on me partially was to kill my spirit and turn me into him. For those ten years much of me died and turned into a narcissist for a lot of that time.

Throughout that whole time I knew something was wrong and finally was able to get out. I've done everything I can to be the old me. And I think, through tons of videos and reading and especially this quote, I'm finally going to THRIVE again :)

don't really like the psych labels, just prefer how you worded it in the opening post, op.

succintly.

I am not an expert but I believe all narcissists were turned into narcissists by other narcissists. Once their spirit breaks its up to their internals to decide if or when they can ever come back.

It is my personal belief most can't unless they feel enough pain, but they may not make it out alive. I'm not an expert. So please don't believe I'm 100% sure of this paragraph. Just my experience.

For your other question yes absolutely. In fact that's the hallmark of a narcissist. They can function normally, charm everyone, make everyone feel amazing, and only abuse 1 person. That 1 person is where they get their strength from.

That's what happened to me.

My sister and father appeared charming to most (unless presssed), but abused me to death.

yeah, it's not cool to hurt others, though there are situations where it's fighting back because you are being hurt and you want the hurting to stop.

take care op and thanks for your thread

I like and hate psych labels. They make things easier to describe, but they also generalize too much. And more than that, society is often way too quick to label.

I've been so quickly labeled a narcissist over the years when in actuality I was a struggling victim, desperately wanting to turn back to normal.

well, sometimes you have to cut ties and protect yourself from a person who is harming you, whether or not they are aware of it or not, idk maybe some times they aren't aware of what they are doing....like being possessed or something. some stuff that transpired with a family member is to such an extreme i wonder if something else was happening, like 3rd party MITM attack. when the alternative is that your someome abused your trust for their own purposes/financial benefit when it's a family member is a bitter pill to swallow.

We’re all hurt children on the inside. So what?

They can be pretty good fakers sometimes. They might just constantly suck up to people when they want something. Look at Amber Turd. She fooled Johnny pretty well for long enough to get married.

I had a friend once who was bad crazy. She didn’t show everyone that side of her except when she was really drunk. Once she relaxed around me she became a completely different person. 100% bonkers. But she could put on a good act sometimes.

yes, the labels are often broadbrush used and incorrectly used at an individual level.

i've used the label narcissist based on unclear understanding, but evenso incorrectly toward my Mom in the past. my siblings were always trying to cause problems for our Mom and always talkijg shit about her behind her back. honestly, they were like wasps always critical, always comparing how they did things with their kids that our parents did....my sisters were in competition with our Mom and me (what my om told me and sedms to be true) and my brother, just a whole other thing, but neither our Mom or Dad are narcissists.

They would have to lose everything and still have a soul left. I couldn't tell you how many do or don't still have that or not.

As I've explained in this thread I was a partial narcissist for, accurately(?), 15 years. I always still had my spirit buried ready to come back, but so much pain consumed me that I had tons of narcissistic traits.

I cannot at all tell you how many of me exist vs true narcissists.

Yes, that explained my fathers distain of me. He was jealous, and used his power to sabotage my life.

I met someone who told me just based on being his daughter, i should be all over the world, giving lectures, writing books, etc.

I sit at home, nobody even knows I exists. He goes down in History as a "great man" and he took my life away from me out of pure jealousy and spite. Nobody even attempted to explain it to me.

It's a competition to the point they will even try to kill you.