Now, if you want to catch a lover you need a love spell.

This is a real Salem witch (as opposed to a fake Salem witch). I could tell she was a real Salem witch by that absurd Bostonian accent.

Now, what you need is red candles, some flowers and crap in a jar, an apple and honey, and a knife.

Then you pour some crap in a jar with the honey over the apple and write love and lust on the candle and then burn that crap.

And that's how you can have love.

Oh, and you need copious amounts of flash powder to make it go poof. Otherwise it's not majyc.