DIVORCED ONLY QUESTION - Question about marriage

Bro... literally everyone is batshit crazy now, but women are far crazier.

The collective IQ is falling off a cliff.

I wouldn't even trust a Mensa graduate or whatever you would call that with making my breakfast.

I don't trust anyone, and it's incredibly lonely.

You don't choose who you fall in love with, and I sure as hell didn't marry for money...I also wasn't the one to leave after 10 years of marriage...

everyone will always lie and say second option.

Truth will always be first.

I knew her a long time, and I did love her….But she changed after we had two kids. She beat up my eldest age four, that was it for me. That child just made it into national honor society. The court knew about the abuse and did nothing. Kicked her out at 16 so she could remarry. Being a parent doesn’t work for some people…They are addicted to romance just like its a drug.

And again, because they don't follow God and what he says

it takes some getting used to....

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Last Edited by GatorMclosky on 11/22/2022 01:22 PM

She checked all the boxes.
Guess I didn't check enough of hers.

well...he wrote and still does great poetry and prose etc...we could speak for hours....then when I married him...suddenly I had "the chore" and he could go out all night with buddies...he wasnt quite what I was looking for...I had hoped for someone a little more physically capable and family orientated...he preferred to ignore his sons and myself except on fathers day and those "needs"

I loved my 1st wife and she loved me. The problem was, after a few years of marriage, she turned into a narcissist and became abusive when she didn't get her way. The verbal and physical abuse increased until I said enough and got divorced. ..

After a few years, I got lonely and wanted love. Got married again and realized after a year I had made a mistake. I had married a Gold Digger who was diagnosed with at least 5 different types of mental disorders. They quickly put her on disability. She was a nut case...

Presently, I'm not getting married again. I have a GF and we have mutual respect for each other. We've been together now since 2010. She asked me once if we were going to get married. I told her I can't go through another divorce...

doublepost

Last Edited by DuckNCover on 07/21/2022 02:04 AM

I got married because I got her pregnant. And I figured it would be cheaper getting married than having to pay child support forever. While married, she can be made to work to pay that child support herself, lol.

Reading my reply sounds harsh now... but I stand by it.

After college and well into career, I was exhausted working hard at life to feel like I had "succeeded" without reaching satisfaction regardless of success. Felt like all I did was spin my wheels in the mud, there was no meaning, and every guy I dated was mentally ill in an unbearable way. I think almost everyone is mentally ill, just some are severe. My parents were drug addicts and I had no relationship with them(one was dead, the other tried to commit suicide and was committed to an asylum) and I had no faith in God. I was so lonely at the time. Desperate for something dependable and concrete. Every person I had thought I could trust had turned out anything but trustworthy. I had given up on thinking I would find anyone at all. I just wanted some companionship, even though I knew it wouldn't last, so I went on a date. We had not met before, but when he walked in and saw me I saw something click in his eyes. Later he told me he knew we were going to be married, that I was it, at first sight. He was dependable, not a liar, did not have mental issues that I could tell at the time, he was easy on the eyes, and was like me in not willing to go into debt, hard working, fairly reasonable. There were things that I did not like, but they did not measure up to the idea of being alone for the rest of my life. I needed someone to have my back. In case someone has the idea it was for financial stability, I made more money than he did until a couple years after I quit working to stay home with our children.

We're on marriage year seventeen now. He has been very difficult, is difficult daily since year three. We have three children and I do not want to divorce because I don't want to destroy their lives, only to still have to deal with him. I also am hoping he will get better after our oldest is out of the house, as the many issues we have revolve around the problems the eldest has. I have told him that if he doesn't address some of the problems then we will have to separate. I don't want to put too many details to make it identifying, but it's bad enough that if other people knew the problems they would not understand why I am still here. Infidelity (while getting it every day at home!) isn't even the worst of it.

So the question: did I settle? Kind of. The things I didn't like were the very indicators of the issues we have now. The things I didn't like were because they indicated these issues would become a problem. But I never dreamed you could find a perfect person. I knew marriage was about commitment despite circumstances. He is a man of commitment, for sure. Would I go back in time to change it? No, I love my children too much. And overall, I feel very blessed. We have worked together well to build a life that we aren't wealthy but we aren't lacking, and not many can say that. Also, I really do love him. I just hate how he can make me feel so often. I used to feel like he was sucking my soul dry, that I was spiritually dying. I have offered to separate without courts, he could just go live his life and visit when he wanted, but he insists he loves me and wants to be here. I've all but pushed him out the door to go make the life that would make him happier. But he doesn't want to go. Says he would be miserable without me.

So, you know, people tend to fuck up the good things in their lives when they're mentally unstable. It's hard to believe that he wants to be here at all with the way he acts at times. I am so appreciative that God saved me, so that I have the relationship with him to help me cope. I no longer feel spiritually void, and I can see the problems for what they really are: results of bad things that happened in his life, and his inability to cope or work through them.

But overall, marriage is hard because everyone is messed up. Whether or not you believe it, our flesh really was corrupted in the garden, and this makes relationships with one another in any format difficult at times. Some of us do better than others, but it is highly improbable to have two married together that are mostly sane. I think that it is to help one another do better. The person who is having a harder time behaving well sees a good example from the other, and hopefully can make progress. And the one who is the good example learns to truly love someone in a way you never would in an easy relationship, as well as reach to God for help. Ultimately that relationship is the most important, and I'm not sure I would've found it without the difficulties we have had in our marriage.

Life was never promised to be easy. And we are certainly miserable when we are selfish. Service to others is where peace comes from. Leaving God out of marriage makes addressing issues almost impossible for most. I've rambled enough.... I'm sorry to all of you who are divorced. I know the hole of trusting and losing trust in people that you love from before marriage, as well as during. It is very painful. But I do encourage a relationship with Jesus. He is truly never going to let you down.

I got married because I was tired of dating. Seemed like she would stay with me
We got along pretty good.
Turned out she wanted to be my boss. Didn’t work out.

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Marriage is phucking hard. Insanely hard. And it is so damn easy to get a divorce.

And since it is so easy to divorce, people enter it without a TRUE commitment. They don’t actually mean forever.

One or both, don’t work super hard to make it work.

Both parties are on their best behavior , often, during “courtship” and the first year of marriage.

Then the first giant fight as a married couple happens. And one or both behaves insanely bad. They gotta win that fight above all else. And the monster side of their personality comes out. A side, previously kept deeply hidden.

It is a shocking revelation. With emotions high, people question if they want to live with this new personality aspect.


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UNLESS YOUR BOTH VIRGINS.


DON'T DO IT!



GERMAN STUDY SHOWS ALL WOMAN RETAIN ALL DNA....

the reason i got married the first time was because i was 19 and he asked me to.
he was higher in the company than me, was good at it, but people still called him an asshole.
i never understood what they meant and they could not pinpoint any specific thing, so would say idk hes just an asshole.

after being married to him for a year, i found out they were right.
he became one.
and it only got worse.

after several years, i gave up on love completely.
i went dead inside and that was the most frightening to me, how my heart could do that.
i gave up on love between man and woman being real.i was not even going to look because i felt there truly was no one out there for me.


but then i had that dream...the long haired magician or biker looking dude asleep under all of that ice.
i didnt know who he was or why he was in MY dream.
he wasnt my type either so i was stumped.

turns out, that very man is my second husband of 25 years.
i call him a magician because he ones of those people who can fix things without knowing how..stuff just fixes for him just by him putting his attention on it.hes so smart and kind.hes tall and still looks just how he was in my dream
hes magic all the way around.

he is literally the man of my dreams and i could NOT be happier.
true story

ps..we spend a lot of time together in my dreams as well, sometimes kissing but mostly doing mundane normal things like building and creating things i cant remember what they are when i wake up.
he has a genuine respect for me that i treasure.
we are friends first and then spouses.

Your mum’s German?

I'VE NEVER HAD A MUM...

So, I can't speak...

Married and divorced 6 times. I have a black belt in crazy bitch. Have never really found what I'm looking for but seem to be on a rescue mission. My mother says I went from bringing home stray animals to bringing home stray women... Yes, I'm sure I need help...

Marriage for love is outdated.

Todays marriages are for convenience.

I’ve gotta agree with grove on this one

First wife took off to “find herself”. She found herself in Tucson, apparently. Now she came back to the Midwest and lives with her dad and sister.

Second wife seemed cool, seemed intelligent and fun. She just wanted a paycheck and financial support.

There won’t be a third.

I believe my first marriage was the product of naivety, low self esteem and low confidence. I believed the man I was marrying would take care of me, no matter what, and I stupidly played along.

The major upside of it is that I went to college while I was a lowly, bored housewife. So when he left me and our children in the dust, for another naive, low self esteem girl...I was able to get a job quickly and only had to live with my parents for 3-4 months.

My current husband is the one I'd marry again in the next 100 lifetimes. I never said that about the first one. I don't even know if I ever truly loved the first one, unfortunately.

There's my 100% honest answer. I'd never admit any of this in the real world bit the internet makes it okay to let it go, I guess.

I knew this utter nonsense would come up as soon as I saw the post title. As is the case with 90% of the stuff on GLP, it is horse manure, I wish you 'purity' folks would pull your head out of wherever it is currently located:


[link to globalnews.ca (secure)]

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I know most will ignore or laugh at this advice.

Get premarital counseling, that includes classes and couples counseling.


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Been married >35 years.


Its hard.

my father was married four times.

i learned from his mistakes and stopped after one,
never doing it again.

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I disagree. it's somewhere around 0.001% if
you can be honest about your goals, like just
100% kinky sex, no pets, kids, or cuddling.

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You don´t need the church or government clercs for love.

Institutional approval?

Officially in love?

Last Edited by waycation on 07/22/2022 04:31 AM