Surround yourself with... Um, what? | |
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 83248240 United States 08/03/2022 12:52 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Surround yourself with good people… Surround yourself with those who lift you up… Surround yourself with those who have your back… Quoting: Turtle Flower The kids these days (I’m 56 so those 20+ years younger than me) post these memes all the time as they speak of their struggles and depression. And I can’t help but think how narcissistic these phrases are, and how they push the idea that we can’t be whole unless we are surrounded by people. Never is the idea expressed that they should step out of themselves and help others, it’s always about others doing for them, and it’s being accepted as wise advice and a good idea. People who can’t spend time alone, those who need to have others around all the time, just never seem to grow up. It’s as though they enter adulthood looking for a parent or a savior, and when these figments of a broken reality don’t do just as they expect, making them feel good about themselves, then they are hurt, angry, and more depressed than ever. Where have the ideas of figuring out your own strengths and talents gone? No one outside of you is going to give you that, no person knows what your special reason for being here is, so the whole idea of surrounding yourself is just another broad path leading you away from yourself, and the reasons you even exist. Giving others so much power over your emotions, your feelings of worth and belonging, is a short road to failure. Not to mention, putting your weight on others while you feel entitled to have them lift you up is selfish and narcissistic. I don’t get it. If you can’t be alone, and have to be surrounded by others all the time to feel complete, you’re not gonna make it. You just become a drain on everyone in your sphere. Instead of surrounding yourself, you should be separating yourself and figuring out who you are, and what you could potentially do to help the world, instead of waiting for the world to lift you up. /end rant I enjoy both, being alone and with people. Back in the day, I used to hitch a ride all over the country alone except when in a ride. It's powerful to have the idea that you can handle whatever comes the next day. Faith comes in many forms. Faith in ones self is empowering and everlasting. When comfortable with yourself it's easier to be around others when you choose to. If you need nothing from others then they cannot disappoint you either. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 83753283 United States 08/03/2022 01:59 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
ArchimedesGirl
User ID: 79565692 Canada 08/03/2022 02:00 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | while you are partly right, the reason that my generation is so depressed is because they take TOO MUCH responsibility. They should be blaming the world more, not less, they should be more courageous in speaking up about their ideals, more aggressive, not less. It is the only way we can usher in a new world that isn't scary, but takes the best of every dualism. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 83955920 So, instead of taking your frustrations to a forum where other boomers will only reply along the lines of 'oh yea this generation is f*cked, brainwashed retards', be honest about which specific person is triggering you, and talk to them! Real change comes from surrender, not resistance. We're humans too you know, inside us is exactly the same essence perceiving it all. Not that different at all. I am a loner. People who interest me are very creative or highly intelligent so the conversations are informational and about subjects other than self. I am kind though, and because of it... I seem to attract people who need other people desperately and who have a ton of issues they want to talk about. My neighbor will work two jobs, 70 hour week, and then come straight to my house to talk until she's too exhausted to do anything but fall in bed fully dressed. Poor hygiene, poor diet, zero self-betterment... and I don't know how to help her grow out of that. She's nearly 40! How can I help these "friends" who show no interest in me or what I'm doing, grow up and get their own lives? I've tried lots of hugs, "how was your day" conversations, but it never gets past that. They want to stay in that zone where the attention is on them all the time. I have wondered if it comes from being ignored as a child - but I'm not like that and I basically raised myself. I wondered if it was physical abuse, but I went through hell on that front too, and still prefer to be alone. If you are that needy person - please tell me - what helps you get out of yourself and interested in life? What inspires you to be productive? What makes you feel confident and want to take care of yourself, eat well, etc? How can I "wake up" my friends who hang out and talk while I work my butt off feeding them. What will make them "see" others and pitch in to help? Haha I recognize a lot of myself in your story; I too am that person that is the one that is there for people and deals with my own shit alone and like it that way. This is why I don't feel offended by the OP or the comments at all. I merely want to offer the idea that young people might not be 'crazy', which is just too easy and unintelligent of an explanation for me. Regarding your question about how to deal with those people who 'need' you and come to you complaining about stuff but never changing. I'd like to offer the following insight: Maybe you are invested in an idea of 'kindness' and 'politeness' and see yourself as such, but another way to look at it is that you are ignorant of what they actually need and are wasting their time and your own energy. You are living in a comfortable illusion that another being, another consciousness ultimately just as intricate as yours (despite being less 'intelligent'), 'needs' you. The fact that you are putting double quotes around "friends" tells me that you don't perceive them that way, but are instead keeping them in the illusion that you are, which ultimately, is a comfortable power position, instead of a meaningful and loving bond based on equality. Because I hear you wanting to take responsibility for this situation and move towards greater love, is my urgent suggestion for you to re-align with your identity of kindness and either don't treat friends as friends and let them go (kindness doesn't equal weakness!), or otherwise take action that DOES change the homeostasis! (weird idea; copy THEIR behavior instead of waiting for them to copy yours. You might be surprised what you find out ;)) Best of luck. Thank you for the insight. I agree I need to rethink my so-called kindness, especially since it doesn't work. I can't, with a clear conscience, mimic the behavior of my neighbor(s). And I don't think I can tell her to get over herself and think about someone else for a change. It would validate her already drama-attack tendency. I do care how she is and don't want her to be sad and depressed. But I would rather see her grow and become stronger. I would rather have a two-way friendship. Perhaps that is not possible with this type of person. Perhaps it is best to be honest and let her go find her own kind. Maybe it's time for ME to grow up and tell her I can't help her and to find someone else who can. Prophetic dreams about a coming war and those who survive: Thread: "Communism for California" west coast riots from 2006 dream (update: streaming hive mind dream) How to Eject: Thread: Game Over - a Journey to Freedom (story complete) |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 83277861 United States 08/03/2022 02:41 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Texas Drifter
User ID: 83878252 United States 08/03/2022 02:52 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Surround yourself with good people… Surround yourself with those who lift you up… Surround yourself with those who have your back… Quoting: Turtle Flower The kids these days (I’m 56 so those 20+ years younger than me) post these memes all the time as they speak of their struggles and depression. And I can’t help but think how narcissistic these phrases are, and how they push the idea that we can’t be whole unless we are surrounded by people. Never is the idea expressed that they should step out of themselves and help others, it’s always about others doing for them, and it’s being accepted as wise advice and a good idea. People who can’t spend time alone, those who need to have others around all the time, just never seem to grow up. It’s as though they enter adulthood looking for a parent or a savior, and when these figments of a broken reality don’t do just as they expect, making them feel good about themselves, then they are hurt, angry, and more depressed than ever. Where have the ideas of figuring out your own strengths and talents gone? No one outside of you is going to give you that, no person knows what your special reason for being here is, so the whole idea of surrounding yourself is just another broad path leading you away from yourself, and the reasons you even exist. Giving others so much power over your emotions, your feelings of worth and belonging, is a short road to failure. Not to mention, putting your weight on others while you feel entitled to have them lift you up is selfish and narcissistic. I don’t get it. If you can’t be alone, and have to be surrounded by others all the time to feel complete, you’re not gonna make it. You just become a drain on everyone in your sphere. Instead of surrounding yourself, you should be separating yourself and figuring out who you are, and what you could potentially do to help the world, instead of waiting for the world to lift you up. /end rant Surround yourself with yourself. |
XJDUB
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Base12
User ID: 73560093 United States 08/03/2022 03:06 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Kellie - 1 year ago "Ironically, as an introvert, this is how I feel when I'm alone." Visit my website... [link to www.mostholyplace.com] |
Tanoros
User ID: 79771926 United States 08/03/2022 03:14 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Surround yourself with good people… Surround yourself with those who lift you up… Surround yourself with those who have your back… Quoting: Turtle Flower The kids these days (I’m 56 so those 20+ years younger than me) post these memes all the time as they speak of their struggles and depression. And I can’t help but think how narcissistic these phrases are, and how they push the idea that we can’t be whole unless we are surrounded by people. Never is the idea expressed that they should step out of themselves and help others, it’s always about others doing for them, and it’s being accepted as wise advice and a good idea. People who can’t spend time alone, those who need to have others around all the time, just never seem to grow up. It’s as though they enter adulthood looking for a parent or a savior, and when these figments of a broken reality don’t do just as they expect, making them feel good about themselves, then they are hurt, angry, and more depressed than ever. Where have the ideas of figuring out your own strengths and talents gone? No one outside of you is going to give you that, no person knows what your special reason for being here is, so the whole idea of surrounding yourself is just another broad path leading you away from yourself, and the reasons you even exist. Giving others so much power over your emotions, your feelings of worth and belonging, is a short road to failure. Not to mention, putting your weight on others while you feel entitled to have them lift you up is selfish and narcissistic. I don’t get it. If you can’t be alone, and have to be surrounded by others all the time to feel complete, you’re not gonna make it. You just become a drain on everyone in your sphere. Instead of surrounding yourself, you should be separating yourself and figuring out who you are, and what you could potentially do to help the world, instead of waiting for the world to lift you up. /end rant Very good post! I’ve been having similar conversations with those in my personal life. Not only about being strong/confident to find happiness on our own, but also not giving our power away feeling that something outside of us can make us be more happy. I would love to have so much money I’d never have to work again, however, I don’t need that to be happy. I believe this whole topic you bring up is in relation to stripping people (without them knowing) of their personal power. When we believe something else or someone else is the cause of our happiness/hurt, we will always be looking outside and away, instead of inside. Another thing, slightly tied to this topic. Think about how many topics are structured such that they create emotional responses. The emotional responses help to keep those people from analyzing facts, and instead follow the emotion. Then you pair that with the idea that happiness/hurt comes from something other than us, and it’s a recipe for many people to load and depressed. All we can do is teach those who haven’t fallen into the trap or the ones who are waking up from the traps. Thanks OP and good luck |
ugly truther
User ID: 77191747 United States 08/03/2022 03:18 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I tell people the same but also tell them to surround themselves with these... [link to www.kayjaywellness.com (secure)] results range from slow and subtle to swift and dramatic! stay safe good people! ugly truther |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 40946336 United States 08/03/2022 04:05 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 81770435 United States 08/03/2022 04:42 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Surround yourself with good people… Surround yourself with those who lift you up… Surround yourself with those who have your back… Quoting: Turtle Flower The kids these days (I’m 56 so those 20+ years younger than me) post these memes all the time as they speak of their struggles and depression. And I can’t help but think how narcissistic these phrases are, and how they push the idea that we can’t be whole unless we are surrounded by people. Never is the idea expressed that they should step out of themselves and help others, it’s always about others doing for them, and it’s being accepted as wise advice and a good idea. People who can’t spend time alone, those who need to have others around all the time, just never seem to grow up. It’s as though they enter adulthood looking for a parent or a savior, and when these figments of a broken reality don’t do just as they expect, making them feel good about themselves, then they are hurt, angry, and more depressed than ever. Where have the ideas of figuring out your own strengths and talents gone? No one outside of you is going to give you that, no person knows what your special reason for being here is, so the whole idea of surrounding yourself is just another broad path leading you away from yourself, and the reasons you even exist. Giving others so much power over your emotions, your feelings of worth and belonging, is a short road to failure. Not to mention, putting your weight on others while you feel entitled to have them lift you up is selfish and narcissistic. I don’t get it. If you can’t be alone, and have to be surrounded by others all the time to feel complete, you’re not gonna make it. You just become a drain on everyone in your sphere. Instead of surrounding yourself, you should be separating yourself and figuring out who you are, and what you could potentially do to help the world, instead of waiting for the world to lift you up. /end rant Apparently, you are just another demanding Wo-man. |
The Albuquerque Statesman
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Peter Quill
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Fossy
User ID: 75173974 United States 08/03/2022 06:28 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | It's a balance. When I was a young female, I couldn't stand to be alone. Aloneness seemed like failure. Now at 70, I put up with people as I await my time alone again, like a nectar. Quoting: hollyavila Both are true. We cannot survive alone if the s hits. We have to be comfortable with ourselves, but being isolated makes you a victim. ‘‘Twas going to post this as well. Great song! Making sammiches great again! |
Ryan333
User ID: 83872499 United States 08/03/2022 06:42 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Surround yourself with good people… Surround yourself with those who lift you up… Surround yourself with those who have your back… Quoting: Turtle Flower The kids these days (I’m 56 so those 20+ years younger than me) post these memes all the time as they speak of their struggles and depression. And I can’t help but think how narcissistic these phrases are, and how they push the idea that we can’t be whole unless we are surrounded by people. Never is the idea expressed that they should step out of themselves and help others, it’s always about others doing for them, and it’s being accepted as wise advice and a good idea. People who can’t spend time alone, those who need to have others around all the time, just never seem to grow up. It’s as though they enter adulthood looking for a parent or a savior, and when these figments of a broken reality don’t do just as they expect, making them feel good about themselves, then they are hurt, angry, and more depressed than ever. Where have the ideas of figuring out your own strengths and talents gone? No one outside of you is going to give you that, no person knows what your special reason for being here is, so the whole idea of surrounding yourself is just another broad path leading you away from yourself, and the reasons you even exist. Giving others so much power over your emotions, your feelings of worth and belonging, is a short road to failure. Not to mention, putting your weight on others while you feel entitled to have them lift you up is selfish and narcissistic. I don’t get it. If you can’t be alone, and have to be surrounded by others all the time to feel complete, you’re not gonna make it. You just become a drain on everyone in your sphere. Instead of surrounding yourself, you should be separating yourself and figuring out who you are, and what you could potentially do to help the world, instead of waiting for the world to lift you up. /end rant I always been a loner and when I was young peoples were asking what was wrong with me for liking being alone ? I think it's the other way around, what's wrong with YOU for wanting to always be with others ? It's like they require other peoples validation for everything they do. Yes! Exactly So happy to hear I'm not the only one feeling this. Hey OP. Can I send this to my ex-wife? You're spot on her personality and most of Western Society. |
Sal Monella
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 80436744 United States 08/03/2022 07:18 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 80296164 United Kingdom 08/03/2022 07:29 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Surround yourself with good people… Surround yourself with those who lift you up… Surround yourself with those who have your back… Quoting: Turtle Flower The kids these days (I’m 56 so those 20+ years younger than me) post these memes all the time as they speak of their struggles and depression. And I can’t help but think how narcissistic these phrases are, and how they push the idea that we can’t be whole unless we are surrounded by people. Never is the idea expressed that they should step out of themselves and help others, it’s always about others doing for them, and it’s being accepted as wise advice and a good idea. People who can’t spend time alone, those who need to have others around all the time, just never seem to grow up. It’s as though they enter adulthood looking for a parent or a savior, and when these figments of a broken reality don’t do just as they expect, making them feel good about themselves, then they are hurt, angry, and more depressed than ever. Where have the ideas of figuring out your own strengths and talents gone? No one outside of you is going to give you that, no person knows what your special reason for being here is, so the whole idea of surrounding yourself is just another broad path leading you away from yourself, and the reasons you even exist. Giving others so much power over your emotions, your feelings of worth and belonging, is a short road to failure. Not to mention, putting your weight on others while you feel entitled to have them lift you up is selfish and narcissistic. I don’t get it. If you can’t be alone, and have to be surrounded by others all the time to feel complete, you’re not gonna make it. You just become a drain on everyone in your sphere. Instead of surrounding yourself, you should be separating yourself and figuring out who you are, and what you could potentially do to help the world, instead of waiting for the world to lift you up. /end rant |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 83955864 United States 08/03/2022 07:39 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 83955864 United States 08/03/2022 07:40 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Surround yourself with good people… Surround yourself with those who lift you up… Surround yourself with those who have your back… Quoting: Turtle Flower The kids these days (I’m 56 so those 20+ years younger than me) post these memes all the time as they speak of their struggles and depression. And I can’t help but think how narcissistic these phrases are, and how they push the idea that we can’t be whole unless we are surrounded by people. Never is the idea expressed that they should step out of themselves and help others, it’s always about others doing for them, and it’s being accepted as wise advice and a good idea. People who can’t spend time alone, those who need to have others around all the time, just never seem to grow up. It’s as though they enter adulthood looking for a parent or a savior, and when these figments of a broken reality don’t do just as they expect, making them feel good about themselves, then they are hurt, angry, and more depressed than ever. Where have the ideas of figuring out your own strengths and talents gone? No one outside of you is going to give you that, no person knows what your special reason for being here is, so the whole idea of surrounding yourself is just another broad path leading you away from yourself, and the reasons you even exist. Giving others so much power over your emotions, your feelings of worth and belonging, is a short road to failure. Not to mention, putting your weight on others while you feel entitled to have them lift you up is selfish and narcissistic. I don’t get it. If you can’t be alone, and have to be surrounded by others all the time to feel complete, you’re not gonna make it. You just become a drain on everyone in your sphere. Instead of surrounding yourself, you should be separating yourself and figuring out who you are, and what you could potentially do to help the world, instead of waiting for the world to lift you up. /end rant If I were single, I'd totally bone that hot little philosopherette. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 83955864 United States 08/03/2022 07:41 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
gang aft agley
User ID: 82110977 United States 08/03/2022 07:44 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My instructor was Mr. LaNgley. [link to youtu.be (secure)] |
Turtle Flower
(OP) User ID: 83943521 United States 08/04/2022 08:08 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Sorry to post and run, y'all Had to go do things and found my phone banned :( "In order to arrive at what you are not, You must go through the way in which you are not." -TS Eliot [link to www.turtlesvoice.com] Momma Said Write A Book About It - New novel [link to www.amazon.com (secure)] [link to www.facebook.com (secure)] |
BRIEF
User ID: 79662918 United States 08/04/2022 08:46 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I love loneliness. Actually, I don't need any people around, except my kids. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 83761675 That's like saying you like to get burned, when you mean that you like the weather to be hot... Isolation is pleasurable to me as well, but not loneliness... solitude is the term i prefer. That's accurate, but generally one must isolate themselves in order to obtain solitude... I never forgive and I never forget I am a licensed firearm holder. I will, under protection of law, use lethal force if attacked. |
BRIEF
User ID: 79662918 United States 08/04/2022 08:48 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | As parents, it's ok to let your child see you down or sad, if it is resolved quickly. Living in a depressed state around your family will cause them stress and unhappiness too...So if you are not happy, fake it around your family if you have to... Quoting: BRIEF This is very true. It spreads like a disease. Many traits do. Unhealthy eating habits spread. Smoking spreads. Dislike of education spreads. Soon, nothing but misery. It's our moral obligation to show them the way to live, simply by observation...So that they too can build and enjoy a happy live... I’m trying. They will pick up on and appreciate the effort, for their benefit... I never forgive and I never forget I am a licensed firearm holder. I will, under protection of law, use lethal force if attacked. |